100% Customer Satisfaction

Ever experienced it?

Not 99%, not 4.7%, but 100%.

Not one thing could be improved. There is nothing that could be better.

I have had it when buying a drink from a vending machine using contactless. Can’t think of anything that could have been better from the experience.

Did you have to bend over to collect your drink?

‘thud’ as bottle hit the tray could have been louder
amount the juice fizzed up could have been lower

I was already on the floor


Looks like I am the only one, I pity you all!

Was there any lag between tapping your card and getting the drink?

Was the drink a satisfactory price? Surely if it was an automated machine there’s a part of your head that’s realised that you’re not actually paying some of the price of the drink to pay someone’s wages to sell it to you, so surely it ought to be just a little bit cheaper than in a shop?

I think it’s very telling that everyone is focusing on my flawless experience rather than offering their own.

Very telling.

I think I’d have been more satisfied if the card transaction had failed, but it had given me the drink anyway. Or would that be 110% satisfaction like the footballers get?

Personally, I’d like to have room for improvement in any experience. Imagine convincing yourself that you’d had a 100% experience - What do you do after that? What kind of life is it thinking that everything else is going to be a disappointment?

Not bad actually, I’m currently eating a chupa chup and counting down to hometime

Would you like to guess my uber rating?


From past experiences working in call centres, anyone that gives a 5 or 6 or even 7 on a customer service satisfaction survey is a DICKHEAD. Give a 10 or don’t do anything at all unless you have a serious gripe, make call centre workers lives easier.


timing. you pass the dickhead test

Ooh! So close!
4.89. Thanks for playing

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easily a thread in this

had an uber start driving off while my friend was still getting in the car, still gave them 5/5

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It will (perhaps fairly) descend immediately into a lot of calling people who use ubers tories

what’s the problem?

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I got asked in an interview recently if I liked working to targets. What kind of maniac would say yes to that? Other than if you were lying to try and get a job, which I was.