13 years ago Tom Cruise jumped on a sofa and exclaimed "i'm in love with Katie Holmes, i'm in love with Katie Holmes,

i’m in love with Katie Holmes".

But what if he hadn’t? What if he’d said;
“I’m in love with Jonathan Donahue, lead vocalist of the critically acclaimed New York indie-rock band Mercury Rev”.

How different things might be.

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Or if he just got her first name wrong and called her eamon

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Steven Spielberg was supposed to be appearing on that show alongside him as they were promoting War of the Worlds, imagine a world where Spielberg had been on there and had reigned him in and he hadn’t jumped on the couch.

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or Under the Hammer,

If I was Oprah I’d have went ballistic at him, jumping on the couch. Get your fucking shoes off mate (I assume he had his shoes on).

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In all possible divergent universes where Tom did not jump on that couch, society collapsed soon afterwards.

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A necessary blip on the route to achieving cinematic perfection with Mission Impossible: Fallout. All roads lead here.

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Ben Shephard did it too and fell off

People might then have thought he was gay or bisexual.

Has anybody seen Richard Ashcroft’s piss poor attempt to create new work in the same genre? I won’t link it because I’m frankly embarrassed for him

To a sold out audience

Bobcat Goldthwait is the true master of the genre-