2018 Budget

Doesn’t seem too dreadful at first glance. What am I missing?

The fact that the country is going to drive off a cliff and then a new budget will happen so this is literally just a PR exercise

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I’m going to wait until the BBC budget calculator thing goes up so I can despair about getting another real terms tax cut again.

Is this of help?

Philip Hammond says he will extend the cancellation of stamp duty for first time buyers on properties up to £300,00 to first-time buyers of shared ownership properties valued at up to £500,000.

I feel like it might? Dunno

Yep, there it is, that sweet £50k threshold increase for the higher rate. Fuck sake.

Brexit and the spending review mean that this budget is little more than an opportunity to get some good headlines from supporters in the press and gullible commentators at other papers.

Expect to see headlines like ‘parking tanks on Labour’s lawn’ and ‘the end of austerity’ as the top rate tax threshold is raised and thousands of people die unnecessarily, but away from the eyes of the media.

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And lots of crowing that they’ve frozen fuel duty again, because god forbid drivers have to pay more for their pollution-guzzlers

Countries can’t drive silly. They don’t fit in the cars

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I think you could fit some countries in some cars

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San Marino could fit in a hummer I suppose

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Lesotho in the boot of a Renault Megane

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Why would a new coin be announced in a budget?

“Here’s our budget, and here’s what we’ll use.” Fuck off, mate.

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Because

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Everyone will obviously be so happy about Brexit, they’ll want to celebrate the fact with a good old British 50p coin. Here’s the proposed design.

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If I was presenting a budget.

And then at the end I went "Oh by the way GUYS, we’ll be doing this…

… WITH COINS!"

People would think I was a fucking lunatic.

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Maybe you should stop voting Tory.

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NEVER

fuck