I can identify with a lot of this.
You seem to do all of the right things but there is a background level of grim/ drudge that is sometimes impossible to top.
The sector that we work in makes a very long and intense winter quite common. I feel like it’ll seem better without you having to work harder/ do different things.
Try to enjoy your break!
Love you bud.
It’s been a strange mixture of good and bad, as most are, but frankly considering the lows we’ve came out surprisingly on top, in the end.
Q2 literally starts with me beginning a new job, that’s my dream job. It is surreal and exciting but also daunting in the usual ways. I am of course very grateful I was able to find it, and in the end actually have two incredible positions to chose from. I hope I have made the right choice.
My MH has been up and down but impro9by the day now. Weather, easing, and new job will be helping but also minor changes day to like more meditation, self reflection, vulnerablity with friends, and slowing down.
Partner had found a new calling and that is exciting me and her. It is good to see her throwing herself into something and makes me really want to do the same frankly.
We have managed to navigate through the schooling at home and my kids seem better with each passing day. I think they’re annoyed that it is the school holidays. Will see how the next few weeks shake out haha.
My Mum has been very unwell. Suspected heart attack, three weeks in hospital. Anyway, thankfully they have a good diagnosis and are hoping to have her feeling better all the time. It has been tough for her as the restrictions were already impacting her MH and now even more so frankly.
The old work was a disaster towards the end. Really made me feel sick. Doctor gave me a load of time off to help with it though. That pissed them off. Fuck them.
My dog is getting old. He seems sleepy all the time. Just reminds me that some day, hopefully in a few years, he is going to go. It is just so sudden that a labrador just slows right up. Still a cutie pie though.
We lost out on a house we liked loads. Bastards pulled out as they couldn’t find anything to buy to replace it. Ah well.
we love you, slicky!
Better position than most yadayadayada
Absolutely fucking shit
Thank you, out of all the hundreds and hundreds of applications I sent out last year, it’s funny that I got the one that I was certain would definitely lead to nothing
hey squandered & co
it’s been OK. not sure I had any particular big new year’s resolutions or targets, had a vague one about doing stuff on YouTube and I am so that’s good, even if it’s not been a success but something to start with I guess, plus had fun with it so that’s positive.
work is an ongoing weird one in that it’s fine but also not, been doing some different work that is more aligned to what I want to do (web development using React and various AWS technologies if you’re interested), and that has been good, have enjoyed it and even did a bit of dev in my own time on a mini project for myself, so that’s good. but then at the same time parts of the work project I’m working on have been bad, and if some stuff that looks likely happens then it’ll be a dead end anyway so idk 
otherwise it’s kind of just happened. been trying to lose some weight and that’s going OK. have noticed in recent weeks that I’m being very hard on myself whenever anything remotely goes wrong, and I need to stop that, but often I find I get into a cycle of X goes wrong, I get annoyed at myself for it going wrong, I realise I’m being hard on myself and then get annoyed at myself for being annoyed at myself. genius. also my OCD for a couple of things is getting pretty bad, not the worst it has ever been but not far off.
hoping that Q2 is a bit better all round 
It’s been a nothing quarter really. No major upsets, no huge peaks. Barring the everyday ups and downs, the family is fine, even out to the extended branches. I’ve only worked about a week all told, the rest on furlough. I always told myself that a load of free time meant I could get on with all the creative things I wanted to do but never did because of work, and to be fair I did quite a bit of that in the first lockdown, but this time I haven’t been able to summon up the energy or the willpower to do much of anything at all. It’s just been a long plunge into escapism, reading lots of novels, getting stuck into complex RPGs, watching movies. Back to work properly from next week, and hopefully now the weather is picking up, it will all be literally and figuratively sunnier.