22/23 Football Predictions Thread

With only a week till the football league kicks off and 2 weeks till the Prem, let’s get some preddos done

CHAMPIONS:
CL QUALIFIERS:
RELEGATED:
SURPRISE PACKAGES:
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS:
BEST SIGNINGS:
TURKEYS:
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE:
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB):
MANAGER OF THE YEAR:
PLAYER OF THE YEAR:
TOP SCORER:
FA CUP:
LEAGUE CUP:
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE:
EUROPA LEAGUE:

GENERAL BIG SHOUTS:

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LA LIGA:
SERIE A:
BUNDESLIGA:
LIGUE 1:

CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER:
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS:
LEAGUE ONE WINNER:
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS:
LEAGUE TWO WINNER:
LEAGUE TWO 2ND, 3RD + PLAYOFF WINNERS:

CHAMPIONS: Man City
CL QUALIFIERS: Liverpool, Chelsea, Spurs
RELEGATED: Forest, Bournemouth, Fulham
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Think Everton will do better than expected and Brentford will avoid ‘second season syndrome’ to be mid table.
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: West Ham will fall off massively and Leicester will have a dire season.
BEST SIGNINGS: Sterling, Kamara, Martinez
TURKEYS: Jesus, Nunez, Aaronson at Leeds, Richarlison
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: the 9-0 specialist at Southampton
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): can see Newcastle struggling a bit and booting Howe
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: It’s boring to say Guardiola but I can just see them battering everyone
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: De Bruyne
TOP SCORER: Kane

GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: I don’t think any of the signings Spurs have made are that great or necessary. All 3 promoted clubs will go down - Fulham won’t quite do a Fulham but they just won’t be good enough. Villa will come lower top table

CHAMPIONS: City
CL QUALIFIERS: Chelsea, Liverpool, Arsenal
RELEGATED: Fulham, Bournemouth, Everton
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Leeds
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Liverpool will be miles off City
BEST SIGNINGS: Hickey, Lewis-Potter, Sterling, Aaronson, Kristensen
TURKEYS: De Jong (if we get him), Nunez, Kalvin Phillips, Awoniyi
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Lampard
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Everton
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Guardiola
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: De Bruyne
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: City
LEAGUE CUP: City
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: City
EUROPA LEAGUE: Manchester United

GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: Spurs will underwhelm because they’re Spurs. Arsenal will remain shit but crawl into fourth place and act like they’re amazing as a result. Ten Hag out by February.

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LA LIGA: Barcelona
SERIE A: Inter
BUNDESLIGA: Bayern
LIGUE 1: PSG

CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: Norwich
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Middlesbrough, Watford
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Sheffield Wednesday
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: MK Dons, Ipswich
LEAGUE TWO WINNER: Bradford
LEAGUE TWO 2ND, 3RD + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Salford, Mansfield

CHAMPIONS: City
CL QUALIFIERS: spurs, Liverpool, arsenal
RELEGATED: Leeds, Bournemouth, Brentford
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Fulham and forest both to survive comfortably, spurs 2nd
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Leicester bottom 6, not sure Brentford and Leeds down is a surprise
BEST SIGNINGS: Diego Carlos, Palhinha, annoyingly Bissouma, Eriksen
TURKEYS: nunez, koulibaly
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Jesse Marsch, American citizen
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Leeds
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Marco Silva
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: De Bruyne
TOP SCORER: Kane
FA CUP: Liverpool
LEAGUE CUP: City
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: City
EUROPA LEAGUE: United

GENERAL BIG SHOUTS:
Mitrovic to score 15+ in the league

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LA LIGA: Barca
SERIE A: Roma
BUNDESLIGA: Tennis
LIGUE 1: PSG

CHAMPIONS: Manchester City
CL QUALIFIERS: Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea
RELEGATED: Fulham, Bournemouth, Leicester
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Villa/Arsenal
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Spurs
BEST SIGNINGS: Jesus, Sterling, Nunez
TURKEYS: Phillips, Perisic, Cucurella if he signs for City.
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Hassenhutl
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Leeds
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Cooper/Guardiola
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: De Bruyne
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: Arsenal
LEAGUE CUP: Arsenal
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: City
EUROPA LEAGUE: Fuck knows, dunno who’s in it.

GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: City to win the league by late March. Liverpool third behind Arsenal. Leicester to leave it way too late to sack Brendan and go down. Forest eventually finish 13th after being 4th or 5th in November

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LA LIGA: Barcelona
SERIE A: Napoli
BUNDESLIGA: Bayern
LIGUE 1: PSG

CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: Norwich
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Sunderland, Middlesbrough
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Derby
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Ipswich, Plymouth Argyle Football Club
LEAGUE ONE RELEGATED WITH A RECORD EVER LOWEST POINTS TOTAL: Exeter City
LEAGUE TWO WINNER: Doncaster
LEAGUE TWO 2ND, 3RD + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Bradford, Gillingham, Swindon

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CHAMPIONS: Spurs
CL QUALIFIERS: City, Liverpool, Chelsea
RELEGATED: Fulham, Bournemouth, Wolves
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Villa to get in the Conference League
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Leicester only surviving on the last day
BEST SIGNINGS: Sterling
TURKEYS: Lingard, Eriksen, All Arsenal Signings
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: whoever is Fulham manager
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): City it might not be the biggest but it will be the loudest
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Conte
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Son
TOP SCORER: Salah
FA CUP: City
LEAGUE CUP: Liverpool
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: City
EUROPA LEAGUE: Roma

GENERAL BIG SHOUTS:

Haaland to get 6 goals then get injured on the 3 September and be in and out of the squad for the rest of season. Due to this is he is only used in former Gazprom. Grealish will be really good.

Spurs to bore everyone to the title.

Todd Boley offers out the spokesperson of Chelsea Pitch Owners on Talksport.

Frank Lampard to take charge of Crawley Town after buying a NFT from John Terry.

The World Cup will make this the most boring season of Barclays ever.

United will progress

Saudi Arabia sell Newcastle back to Ashley as they find out they can’t develop St James Park and can no longer be arsed with the hassle.

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CHAMPIONS: Liverpool
CL QUALIFIERS: Chelsea, Tottenham Hotspur, Arsenal
RELEGATED: Fulham, Leeds, Bournemouth
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Newcastle United
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Aston Villa
BEST SIGNINGS: Sterling, Perisic, Collins.
TURKEYS: Jesus, Coutinho, Pereira, Phillips.
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Frank Lampard.
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Forest to lose the plot when the whole new squad they’ve signed massively underperforms and they do a Derby.
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Klopp.
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Nunez.
TOP SCORER: Nunez.
FA CUP: Arsenal.
LEAGUE CUP: Leicester City.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Bayern Munich.
EUROPA LEAGUE: Feyenoord.

GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: Christian Pulisic to be eaten by a marlin midway through the season.

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LA LIGA: Barcelona
SERIE A: AC Milan
BUNDESLIGA: Bayern
LIGUE 1: PSG

CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: West Brom
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Middlesbrough + Blackburn Rovers.
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Manchester City
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Sheffield Wednesday + Plymouth Argyle.
LEAGUE TWO WINNER: Northampton Town
LEAGUE TWO 2ND, 3RD + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Swindon Town, AFC Wimbledon + Gillingham

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World’s richest man: Jesse Lingard

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Haaland to be constantly spotted out and about in Manchester getting up to some brightly-clad hi jinks.

Every weekend just in The White Hotel.

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I don’t know what that is but yeah I reckon he will be.

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Always knew you were one of the good ones

:heart_eyes:

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A venue in a disused garage

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Oh I also reckon Grealish will have a very good season

CHAMPIONS: City
CL QUALIFIERS: Liverpool, Spurs, Arsenal
RELEGATED: Bournemouth, Leeds, Brentford
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Newcastle, Fulham, Forest
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Everton, Leicester, Villa.
BEST SIGNINGS: Nunez, Haaland, Sterling
TURKEYS: Martinez, Perisic, Koulibaly
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: whoever manages Bournemouth
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): as above, Everton Leicester and Villa to all stay with their overrated British managers for too long and all suffer existential crises about how they should be top 6 clubs while they sit below 14th
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Pep
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: KDB
TOP SCORER: Kane
FA CUP: City
LEAGUE CUP: Liverpool
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Madrid
EUROPA LEAGUE: idk, Roma?

GENERAL BIG SHOUTS:

not a big shout but if Ronaldo finds a club, Utd to release a dvd about pushing the top 4 all the way. Stays and we finish 8th behind Newcastle. ten Hag has public screaming matches with the histrionic preening rapist prick.

Nunez and Haaland destroy all hot takes.

Spurs reach semi finals champions league and finish comfortably third, no trophies.

Eriksen to never get booked despite being yards off the pace and having to hack anyone down on the break with only maguire behind him

All players that don’t go the world Cup (Haaland, Diaz, Salah) look incredible in the close season, injuries reach record heights, season asterisked, everyone agrees never again.

Son to make kissy faces at squid clubs by March

Mike Dean to reinvent VAR

van Gaal to reach the world Cup final. De Jong player of the tournament. Barcelona continue to bench him all season to avoid paying appearance fees.

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LA LIGA: Madrid
SERIE A: Inter
BUNDESLIGA: Bayern
LIGUE 1: Psg

CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: Boro
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: West Brom, Sheffield utd
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Ipswich,
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Portsmouth, Sheffield Wednesday
LEAGUE TWO WINNER: Salford
LEAGUE TWO 2ND, 3RD + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Tranmere, Stockport

Don’t like this wording. What are you suggesting?

Decided that this is really wishful thinking tbh. Forest Green are my alternative pick for play-off winners.

CHAMPIONS: Manchester City
CL QUALIFIERS: Liverpool, Spurs, Arsenal
RELEGATED: Bournemouth, Leeds, Southampton
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Forest, Fulham
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Chelsea, Leicester, Brighton, Wolves
BEST SIGNINGS: Haaland, Dacoure
TURKEYS: Phillips, Nunez
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Lampard
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Everton, terrible start, rock botttom in October, Lampard sacked.
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Pep
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Haaland
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: Man City
LEAGUE CUP: Arsenal
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Man City
EUROPA LEAGUE: Roma

CHAMPIONS: Man City
CL QUALIFIERS: Liverpool, Tottenham, Chelsea
RELEGATED: Bournemouth, Fulham, Nottingham Forest
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Newcastle
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Wolves, Leicester
BEST SIGNINGS: Haaland, Botman,
TURKEYS: Gabriel Jesus, Lingard,
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Lampard
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Everton
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Guardiola
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: De Bruyne
TOP SCORER: Salah
FA CUP: Tottenham
LEAGUE CUP: Man City
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Man City
EUROPA LEAGUE: Man Utd

GENERAL BIG SHOUTS:
Dyche at Everton by Christmas

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LA LIGA: Real Madrid
SERIE A: Inter Milan
BUNDESLIGA: Bayern Munich
LIGUE 1: PSG

CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: Norwich
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Lincoln City
LEAGUE TWO WINNER: Bradford

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