CL QUALIFIERS: Liverpool, Spurs, Arsenal
RELEGATED: Bournemouth, Leeds, Brentford
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Newcastle, Fulham, Forest
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Everton, Leicester, Villa.
BEST SIGNINGS: Nunez, Haaland, Sterling
TURKEYS: Martinez, Perisic, Koulibaly
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: whoever manages Bournemouth
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): as above, Everton Leicester and Villa to all stay with their overrated British managers for too long and all suffer existential crises about how they should be top 6 clubs while they sit below 14th
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Pep
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: KDB
TOP SCORER: Kane
FA CUP: City
LEAGUE CUP: Liverpool
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Madrid
EUROPA LEAGUE: idk, Roma?
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS:
not a big shout but if Ronaldo finds a club, Utd to release a dvd about pushing the top 4 all the way. Stays and we finish 8th behind Newcastle. ten Hag has public screaming matches with the histrionic preening rapist prick.
Nunez and Haaland destroy all hot takes.
Spurs reach semi finals champions league and finish comfortably third, no trophies.
Eriksen to never get booked despite being yards off the pace and having to hack anyone down on the break with only maguire behind him
All players that don’t go the world Cup (Haaland, Diaz, Salah) look incredible in the close season, injuries reach record heights, season asterisked, everyone agrees never again.
Son to make kissy faces at squid clubs by March
Mike Dean to reinvent VAR
van Gaal to reach the world Cup final. De Jong player of the tournament. Barcelona continue to bench him all season to avoid paying appearance fees.
---- + IF YOU WANT:
LA LIGA: Madrid
SERIE A: Inter
LIGUE 1: Psg
CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: Boro
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: West Brom, Sheffield utd
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Ipswich,
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Portsmouth, Sheffield Wednesday
LEAGUE TWO WINNER: Salford
LEAGUE TWO 2ND, 3RD + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Tranmere, Stockport