CHAMPIONS: Man City
CL QUALIFIERS: Arsenal, Spurs, Man Utd
RELEGATED: Southampton, Brentford, Leicester
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Palace
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Chelsea
BEST SIGNINGS: Calafiori, Liam Delap
TURKEYS: Solanke, De Ligt, Neto
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Maresca
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Chelsea, again.
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: McKenna
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Odegaard
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: Liverpool
LEAGUE CUP: Arsenal
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Real Madrid
EUROPA LEAGUE: Spurs
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: Betis
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: Everyone will have a lovely time and get on well with each other and also Man City will escape with a 3 point deduction which everyone will be totally ok and normal about.
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CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: Burnley
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Sheffield United + Coventry
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Birmingham
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Bolton + Wrexham
LEAGUE TWO WINNER: Doncaster
LEAGUE TWO 2ND, 3RD + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Wimbledon, Bradford + Gillingham
CHAMPIONS: Arsenal (After City get a 35 pt deduction)
CL QUALIFIERS: Liverpool, Spurs & Chelsea (somehow)
EUROPA QUALIFIERS: City, Newcastle
CONFY QUALIFIERS: United
RELEGATED: Ipswich, Southampton, Wolves
SURPRISE PACKAGES: there will be no surprises
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Liverpool will struggle a bit in comparison with previous seasons but will scrape it back to 3rd…and then 2nd when City get deducted 35pts
BEST SIGNINGS: Solanke will score between 18-25 unspectacular goals for Spurs
TURKEYS: YORO! (Will come on as sub for the last two matches of the season)
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Enzo Maresca will leave by ’mutual consent’ after a training ground punch up
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): City of course
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Pep again (for qualifying to the Europa despite a 35 pt deduction)
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Alexander Isak
TOP SCORER: Alexander Isak & Erling Haaland (32 goals each)
FA CUP: Newcastle
LEAGUE CUP: Liverpool
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Ancelotti & the Vibesmen
EUROPA LEAGUE: Villa v United final - Villa to win 2-1
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: Chelsea (somehow)
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS:
Man City deducted 35 points but still manage to qualify for the Europa League
Slot makes no signings before the summer window shuts but buys Evan Ferguson from Brighton in January, plays him as an old-fashioned lone centre-forward & turns Liverpool’s season around by just getting TAA to ping it onto his head from a deep lying playmaker role. TAA subsequently signs for Real Madrid next season
CHAMPIONS: Arsenal
CL QUALIFIERS: City, spurs, Newcastle
RELEGATED: Ipswich, Southampton, Brentford
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Everton
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Palace
BEST SIGNINGS: Solanke, Guido Rodriguez
TURKEYS: Fulkrug, Yoro
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: ten hag
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Man U
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: arteta
PLAYER OF THE YEAR:
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: West Ham
LEAGUE CUP: Chelsea
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Real Madrid
EUROPA LEAGUE: dunno
CONFERENCE LEAGUE:dunno
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: West ham to start to click toward the back half of the season, finish 8th. Liverpool to be pretty shit, man u to be awful.
CHAMPIONS: Arsenal
CL QUALIFIERS: City, Liverpool, Aston Villa
RELEGATED: Ipswich, Leicester, Brentford
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Brighton (think the transfer window will provide the depth we lacked last season esp on the wings - though I think we’ll have a turgid start)
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Liverpool
BEST SIGNINGS: Solanke, Minteh, Evanilson
TURKEYS: De Lit/Luis Diaz
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Ten Hag (it feels like they’re bedding in Van Nistleroy)
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Man U
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Arteta
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Cole-Palmer
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: Newcastle
LEAGUE CUP: Brighton
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Real Madrid
CHAMPIONS: Arsenal
CL QUALIFIERS: Man City, Liverpool, Spurs [+Newcastle in fifth]
RELEGATED: Leicester, Southampton, Ipswich
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Spurs if fourth counts. If not Bournemouth.
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Forest (just cos their fans are apparently optimistic for some reason), Chelsea
BEST SIGNINGS: Gray, Solanke, Huijsen, Evanilson, Minteh
TURKEYS: Yoro (crocked), Neto (crocked), Dewsbury-Hall, Savinho, Elliot Anderson
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Maresca
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Chelsea
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Arteta
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Saliba
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: Man City
LEAGUE CUP: Man City
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Man City
EUROPA LEAGUE: Man Utd
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: Chelsea
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: Man City will get a slap on the wrist. Bournemouth and Brighton will be really exciting. Villa will be decent but do a Newcastle and not cope with CL. Madrid will be unbalanced with Mbappe and suffer a fairly early CL exit but he’ll still score 40+ in all comps and they’ll walk the league.
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CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: Burnley
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Leeds[*incomings dependant], Middlesbrough
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Birmingham
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Huddersfield + Bolton
LEAGUE TWO WINNER: Doncaster
LEAGUE TWO 2ND, 3RD + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Bradford, Notts County, Wimbledon
LA LIGA: Real Madrid
SERIE A: Inter
BUNDESLIGA: Bayer Leverkusen
LIGUE 1: PSG
CHAMPIONS: city
CL QUALIFIERS: arsenal, spurs, villa
RELEGATED: Leicester, Brentford, Bournemouth
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Ipswich
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Liverpool (still top 6)
BEST SIGNINGS: Solanke
TURKEYS: Smith-Rowe, Neto, Evanilson
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Maresca
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Chelsea
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: McKenna
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Foden
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: City
LEAGUE CUP: Spurs
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: City
EUROPA LEAGUE: dunno
CONFERENCE LEAGUE dunno
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS:
Think too many people are reading one dreadful year of promoted teams and writing off this year’s batch. Leicester look a bit fucked but reckon the others will do alright. Generally teams who quickly get from league one to the prem do very well in their first season, I’ll take Ipswich to survive comfortably unless McKenna is pinched midseason
caveat: I have put very, very little thought into this
CHAMPIONS: Manchester City
CL QUALIFIERS: Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United
RELEGATED: Southampton, Leicester, Ipswich
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Everton
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Brighton
BEST SIGNINGS: Solanke, De Ligt, Smith-Rowe, Calafiori, Onana
TURKEYS: anyone Chelsea have signed, Szmodics, Phillips
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Steve Cooper
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Chelsea
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Pep
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Foden
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: Arsenal
LEAGUE CUP: Villa
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Real
EUROPA LEAGUE: United
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: dunno
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: Arsenal to do the same thing as last season
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LA LIGA: Real
SERIE A: Juventus
BUNDESLIGA: Bayern
LIGUE 1: PSG
CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: Boro
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Leeds, Burnley
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Stockport
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Wrexham, dunno
LEAGUE TWO WINNER: Wimbledon
LEAGUE TWO 2ND, 3RD + PLAYOFF WINNERS: dunno
CHAMPIONS: Arsenal
CL QUALIFIERS: City, Newcastle, Liverpool
RELEGATED: Forest, Leicester, Fulham
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Ipswich, Bournemouth
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: United, Villa (just compared to last season)
BEST SIGNINGS: Füllkrug, O’Brien, Solanke
TURKEYS: De Ligt, Kilman, Igor Thiago
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Thomas Frank
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Chelsea and AFC Bury
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Dyche
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Son
TOP SCORER: Son
FA CUP: Spurs
LEAGUE CUP: Manchester City
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: PSG
EUROPA LEAGUE: Porto
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: Betis
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: City to get a 15 point deduction to hand Arsenal the title. Son to be electric as he’s had a bit of rest for the first time in ages and has plenty of runners alongside him.
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LA LIGA: Barcelona and their levers
SERIE A: Napoli
BUNDESLIGA: Dortmund
LIGUE 1: PSG
CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: Burnley
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Leeds, West Brom
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Bolton
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Huddersfield, Wigan
LEAGUE TWO WINNER: Doncaster
LEAGUE TWO 2ND, 3RD + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Bradford, Notts County
We’ll lose by many, many goals tonight. Think our squad is pretty thin now but we’re in the very lucky position of having an excellent manager who’s also unlikely to attract one of the big big jobs so reckon we’ll be fine. 14th or so
CHAMPIONS: City
CL QUALIFIERS: Arsenal Liverpool Villa
RELEGATED: Leicester Saints Ipswich
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Forest
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Spurs
BEST SIGNINGS: Nikola Milenković
TURKEYS: Evanilson
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Cooper
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): United
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Emery (CL qualification plus decent cup showings)
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: SANGARE or Chris Wood
TOP SCORER: Chris Wood or Salah
FA CUP: Liverpool
LEAGUE CUP: City
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Real Madrid
EUROPA LEAGUE: Sevilla
CONFERENCE LEAGUE West Ham
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: Salah will be banging them in from the off. I reckon he’s got one last juiced up season in him.
