CHAMPIONS:
CL QUALIFIERS:
RELEGATED:
SURPRISE PACKAGES:
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS:
BEST SIGNINGS:
TURKEYS:
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE:
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB):
MANAGER OF THE YEAR:
PLAYER OF THE YEAR:
TOP SCORER:
FA CUP:
LEAGUE CUP:
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE:
EUROPA LEAGUE:
CONFERENCE LEAGUE
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS:
---- + IF YOU WANT:
LA LIGA:
SERIE A:
BUNDESLIGA:
LIGUE 1:
CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER:
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS:
LEAGUE ONE WINNER:
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS:
LEAGUE TWO WINNER:
LEAGUE TWO 2ND, 3RD + PLAYOFF WINNERS:
CHAMPIONS: Man City
CL QUALIFIERS: Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal
RELEGATED: United, Wolves, Burnley
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Everton, Brighton
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Newcastle, Arsenal
BEST SIGNINGS: Cherki, Joao Pedro, Kerkez, Estevao
TURKEYS: Wirtz, Cunha, Ekitike, Petrovic, Sesko
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Farke
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): United
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Pep
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Palmer
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: Chelsea
LEAGUE CUP: City
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: PSG
EUROPA LEAGUE: Betis
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: Palace
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: Xabi Alonso will get the sack before xmas, Liverpool will have a huge injury crisis given it’s a cycling off year, Arsenal will have made zero improvement over last year and will regress to competing with Spurs for the last Gazprom place.
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LA LIGA: Barca
SERIE A: Napoli
BUNDESLIGA: Dortmund
LIGUE 1: PSG
CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: Coventry
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Leicester, Sheffield United
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Huddersfield
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Bradford, Reading
LA LIGA HyperMotion: Real Club Deportivo de la Coruña
Süper Lig: Fenerbahçe SK
LIGA NOSH: Porto
CHAMPIONS: Liverpool
CL QUALIFIERS: City, Chelsea, Arsenal, Spurs
RELEGATED: Burnley, Wolves, West Ham (basically I think at least one of the promoted clubs is going to stay up)
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Sunderland (think they’ll be better than a relegation spot)
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Everton
BEST SIGNINGS: Frimpong (probably will be seen as best bang for their buck)
TURKEYS: Any of the United ones or Gyokeres AFTV shouldn’t have made that video
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Farke’s already thrown his toys a bit
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Arsenal
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Frank
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Salah for the last time
TOP SCORER: Haaland to have stormer and pulling them along while the rest of them stink out the place
FA CUP: City
LEAGUE CUP: Bournemouth or somebody
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Real Madrid
EUROPA LEAGUE: Villa
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: Palace
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: Arteta to leave in January, Pep’s going, but that’s just obvious, financial irregularities to be found at United due to Ratcliffe not the Glazers fault. City to be found guilty by omission rather than outright guilt on the 115 some sort of massive fine and a transfer ban and that will be the end of it.
LA LIGA: Barcelona
SERIE A: Napoli
BUNDESLIGA: Bayern Munich
LIGUE 1: PSG
CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: Ipswich
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Sheffield United (generally seems like when one of the Sheffield clubs is doing shite the other does well), Coventry
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Bolton
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Luton, Barnsley
LEAGUE TWO WINNER: Swindon
LEAGUE TWO 2ND, 3RD + PLAYOFF WINNERS
Notts County, Grimsby and Fleetwood (wouldn’t be surprised)
League Two is a massive crap shoot MK Dons looked absolutely dog shite last saturday could name the 2 going down and that’s about it
CHAMPIONS: Manchester City
CL QUALIFIERS: Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea
RELEGATED: Sunderland, Brentford, Burnley
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Manchester United (comfortably mid-table), Forest again.
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Newcastle
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Amorim
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Newcastle
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Pep
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Rodri
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: Manchester City
LEAGUE CUP: Manchester City
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Manchester City
EUROPA LEAGUE: Dunno
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: Dunno
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: In a wholly unexpected turn of events, Manchester City are completely exonerated of all the charges against them.
---- + IF YOU WANT:
LA LIGA:
SERIE A:
BUNDESLIGA:
LIGUE 1:
CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: Sheffield United
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Ipswich, Birmingham City
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Cardiff
I just think they might get preoccupied with Europe, Guehi and Eze both want to leave, no major signings, and Glasner might be on shortlists for bigger Bundesliga jobs, etc. Plus, the new owner is notoriously…not great, so it’s based on some logic rather than y’know, any sort of sour grapes about them beating us 1-0 in a cup game six months ago.
Plus, at least one maybe two of the promoted clubs will be a big upgrade on those who came up last year, and quite a few of the midtable clubs - Spurs, United, Everton, possibly Wolves should be better.
CHAMPIONS: Arsenal
CL QUALIFIERS: Liverpool, Chelsea, City
RELEGATED: Brentford, Leeds, Sunderland
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Everton will be much more solid under Moyes
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Forest will revert to the mean with Nuno terror ball and Europe to contend with. Spurs will be more stable but with Maddison and Kulusevski out we’ll struggle to create - think we’ll be looking at top half/top 8
BEST SIGNINGS: dunno
TURKEYS: All of United’s signings
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Farke
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): United
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: I guess if they do it the transphobic linkedin guy
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Salah
TOP SCORER: Salah
FA CUP: City
LEAGUE CUP: Chelsea
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Liverpool
EUROPA LEAGUE: dunno, Sevilla
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: dunno are Chelsea in it again?
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: Liverpool changing too many pieces too quickly and will struggle a bit for cohesion. Arsenal with a decent striker should have enough to terror/set piece their way over the line.
---- + IF YOU WANT:
LA LIGA: Barca
SERIE A: Inter
BUNDESLIGA: Bayern
LIGUE 1: PSG
CHAMPIONS: Arsenal
CL QUALIFIERS: Liverpool, Man City, Chelsea (+Man Utd?)
RELEGATED: Leeds, Burnley, Sunderland
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Man Utd should be comfortably top six without European football (and it shouldn’t be a surprise)
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Everton to maintain their near relegation cycle but stay up
BEST SIGNINGS: Gyokeres, Zubimendi, Ekitike, Joao Pedro
TURKEYS: Sesko(?), Frimpong, Sesko, Gittens, Madueke
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Keith Andrews
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Newcastle (already there?)
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Arteta
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Saliba
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: Man City
LEAGUE CUP: Liverpool
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Barcelona
EUROPA LEAGUE: Aston Villa
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: Crystal Palace
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: Brentford, West Ham, Wolves etc won’t be as bad as expected and the three newly-promoted teams will struggle as much as the last two years. The ‘big six’ will finish as the top six for the first time in a while and we won’t have any major banter seasons from any of them, although Spurs will be some way off CL qualification.
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LA LIGA: Barcelona
SERIE A: Napoli
BUNDESLIGA: Bayern
LIGUE 1: PSG
CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: Southampton
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Ipswich + Leicester
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Luton
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Huddersfield + Blackpool
LEAGUE TWO WINNER: MK Dons
LEAGUE TWO 2ND, 3RD + PLAYOFF WINNERS: Chesterfield, Bristol Rovers
Eze and Guehi have given no indication that they “want” to go and all the rumours have stemmed from less than reliable sources. We don’t have a new owner, we have a new member of our ownership structure that has the same power as Textor had, which is not much. We had clubs looking at Glasner last summer and we told them to fuck off. Signings is obviously a worry, but still just under a month to go.
Outside looking in with just odds and sods from social media will make it look bad. Take a second to look a bit deeper and you’ll see it’s not.
Well said.
I don’t think it looks they bad at all.
We haven’t lost anyone yet, there have been no substantial stories about Eze and Guehi. Apart from Arsenal blogs saying how much they’d like him if we are willing to sell for peanuts like they always do. Both look very good and happy preseason.
We’ve upgraded our back up keeper.
We have a permanent back up left back for Mitchell now and it looks like we might sign that back up right back from Girona.
Wharton is now fully fit, which he wasn’t last season.
Kamada was outstanding at the end of last season and looks like he has finally got used to the Premier League. I think he’ll be great this season. Those two alone are like new signings.
We’ve got one of the best back threes on the league with Guehi, Richards and Lacroix.
Mateta has scored in every game preseason and looks very up for it.
We could do with squad depth, another back up centre back, attacking midfielder and back up to Mateta. But the starting eleven is fine IF we don’t lose anyone. But Eze and Guehi are not desperate to leave.
CHAMPIONS: Arsenal
CL QUALIFIERS: City, Chelsea, Liverpool, Brighton
RELEGATED: Burnley, Wolves, Leeds
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Sunderland, Brighton
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Liverpool
BEST SIGNINGS: Wirtz, Zubimendi, Hato, Cherki
TURKEYS: Sesko, Cunha, Grealish
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Parker
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Fulham
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Le Bris
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Zubimendi
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: Brighton
LEAGUE CUP: Villa
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: PSG
EUROPA LEAGUE: Villa
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: Crystal Palace
IF YOU WANT:
LA LIGA: Barcelona
SERIE A: Internazionale
BUNDESLIGA: Bayern
LIGUE 1: PSG
LA LIGA HyperMotion: Andorra
Süper Lig: Galatasaray
LIGA NOSH: Porto
Champions: Liverpool
Champions League: Arsenal, City, Chelsea, Villa
Relegated: Leeds, Brentford, Burnley
Surprise Packages: Everton - pushing for a Confy place
Best signings: Zubimendi, Frimpong, Grealish
Turkeys: Sesko, Cunha
First Sacking: Farke
Wigloss: United
MOTY: Slot
POTY: Rice
Top Scorer: Salah
FA Cup: Chelsea
League Cup: Liverpool
Champions League: Liverpool
Europa League: Villa
Confy: Palace
CHAMPIONS: Arsenal
CL QUALIFIERS: City, Liverpool, Chelsea
RELEGATED: Burnley, Brentford, Wolves
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Think Frank is genuinely really good and will get Spurs to 5th at least if they get a couple in. If they acclimatise to the new stadium Everton to do well.
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Forest will fall off and I’m not sure if it really constitutes a surprise but think Wolves will really struggle now once the new manager bounce wears off I don’t see Sunderland/Leeds doing as badly.
BEST SIGNINGS: I think Zubimendi is going to be properly brilliant for Arsenal, and while I don’t think Gyokeres is going to be a magic 30 goal striker I think he’ll score enough and be enough of a presence for their other attackers to do well that he’ll go down as a success. Actually think Madueke is a bit better too than he’s given credit for in the Chelsea banter years, if he’d been playing like that for idk Newcastle or someone he’d feel like a good signing.
TURKEYS: Sesko is so obviously a wasteman that we’ll have to retire the wasteman label if he’s actually any good. Want Grealish to do well, but feels like he’s done.
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Parker
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Think West Ham will continue to be incredibly mediocre, which will leave their fans unhappy. If my prediction is correct then Wolves will sack their pintsman and the fans will be in revolt again.
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Arteta
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Saka
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: Chelsea
LEAGUE CUP: Chelsea
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Liverpool
EUROPA LEAGUE: Newcastle
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: Palace
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: Can’t shake this feeling that Liverpool have changed too much too quickly, get done on the break a few times and might be way off the pace in the league. Think that might mean they win Big Ears though.
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LA LIGA: Barcelona
SERIE A: Juventus
BUNDESLIGA: Bayern
LIGUE 1: Reckon PSG might just do it.
CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: Ipswich
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: Huddersfield
LEAGUE TWO WINNER: Chesterfield
CHAMPIONS: city
CL QUALIFIERS: pool, arse, chels, spuds
RELEGATED: Burnley, Leeds, Wolves
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Sunderland to survive relatively comfortably
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: not massive surprises but West ham will be shit, man u will be improved but still very mid table. Potter and Amorim both sacked during the season
BEST SIGNINGS: reijnders, zubimendi, wirtz
TURKEYS: tesco
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: parker
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): United (Arsenal will be good and competitive again but there’ll be an existential crisis about whether arteta is good enough)
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: pep
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: haaland
TOP SCORER: haaland
FA CUP: chelsea
LEAGUE CUP: spuds
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: barca
EUROPA LEAGUE: sevilla
CONFERENCE LEAGUE sevilla B
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: think Haaland will have a proper all timer season
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LA LIGA: almeria
SERIE A: sassuolo
BUNDESLIGA: heidenheim
LIGUE 1: caen
CHAMPIONSHIP WINNER: scum ipswich
CHAMPIONSHIP 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: don’t care
LEAGUE ONE WINNER: scum Wycombe
LEAGUE ONE 2ND + PLAYOFF WINNERS: don’t care
LEAGUE TWO WINNER: lovely colchester
LEAGUE TWO 2ND, 3RD + PLAYOFF WINNERS: don’t care
LA LIGA HyperMotion: farmers
Süper Lig: ex prem players
LIGA NOSH: farmers
CHAMPIONS: City
CL QUALIFIERS: Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal
RELEGATED: Wolves, Burnley, Leeds
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Spurs, Bournemouth
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Brentford, Newcastle
BEST SIGNINGS: Frimpong, Grealish, Hatto, Pahlinha, Elliott if he stays in the league
TURKEYS: Sesko, Cunha, Donnarumma if he comes
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: that throw in coach that took over at Brentford
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): Man Utd
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Frank
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Wirtz
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: Palace
LEAGUE CUP: Liverpool
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Liverpool
EUROPA LEAGUE: Anthony banging them in for Betis
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: Fiorentina
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS:
Liverpool to lose drop enough points from the early games to keep them chasing City for the rest of the season. Frank to get Spurs up to fifth or sixth, Arsenal to fall away as usual, Chelsea to become more of a threat.
CHAMPIONS: Liverpool
CL QUALIFIERS: City, Arsenal, Chelsea
RELEGATED: I honestly don’t care
SURPRISE PACKAGES: I guess Everton or something
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: United will fail to get Baleba and their midfield is gonna be ran through again
BEST SIGNINGS: Isak, Zubimendi, Cherki, Estevao
TURKEYS: Gyokeres, Delap
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: One of the promoted teams’ managers, dont care which
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): United obv
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Moyes
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Isak
TOP SCORER: Isak
FA CUP: Brighton idk
LEAGUE CUP: Arsenal
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Barcelona
EUROPA LEAGUE: Whichever British team is in it. Villa?
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: Hell no
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: Haaland will continue his descent to being average, Cherki will be amazing tho and Guardiola is gonna make City kinda fun to watch cos all the jabs have finally got to him, they’ll defend like shit tho. Liverpool will score a billion goals a game and they somehow still have the money to spend £70m+ on centre backs as well as Isak, so idk I don’t see much hope of anyone catching them. Estevao Willian is gonna be amazing and I’m gonna hate it, think Chelsea actually have a good squad except maybe midfield and it sickens me that they’ve managed it.
Arsenal could theoretically win it, Zubimendi looks like he’s gonna be one of the best CMs in the league & fits perfectly with Rice, but if we’re playing Martinelli every week, and if Gyokeres is just a flat-track bully, we’re not going anywhere. Would love one last attacking signing but not sure how it’s gonna work out in terms of squad composition - I thought Madueke was cover/competition for Saka on the right but I think he’s been bought to hold the width on the left, so if we get a Rodrygo or whatever it would just seem to really unbalance that left side. Anyway the season hinges on Madueke being Actually Good, Gyokeres scoring 25+ goals, and something extra happening like Nwaneri starting to live up to his potential. Then we might win something good.
CHAMPIONS: Liverpool
CL QUALIFIERS: Arsenal, City, Chelsea, Newcastle
RELEGATED: Sunderland, Leeds, Burnley
SURPRISE PACKAGES: Everton, Spurs
SURPRISE STRUGGLERS: Brentford, Forest, Bournemouth
BEST SIGNINGS: Zubimendi, Wirtz, de Cuyper
TURKEYS: Delap, Elanga, Grealish
FIRST SACKING/DEPARTURE: Farke
BIGGEST ANNUAL WIG LOSS (CLUB): dunno, Forest?
MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Pep after he announces retirement the day before the 116 rulings
PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Wirtz
TOP SCORER: Haaland
FA CUP: Arsenal
LEAGUE CUP: Spurs
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE: Bayern
EUROPA LEAGUE: Forest lol
CONFERENCE LEAGUE: Palace
GENERAL BIG SHOUTS: United and spurs both improve and mix it among an underperforming Villa, Newcastle, Bournemouth etc. All new strikers to be average except ekitike who spends 60% of minutes on the bench. City found not guilty. Rashford scores 20. Antony gets 10. Sancho gets contract terminated.
