400 Euphemisms for Sexual Intercourse

I was mostly busy yesterday.

  1. A bit of crumpet
  2. A bit of “How’s yer father?”
  3. A bit of the old in-out, in-out
  4. Accommodation
  5. Act of darkness
  6. Adult naptime
  7. Afternoon delight
  8. Aggressive cuddling
  9. Agreeing on stuff
  10. Amorous congress
  11. Assault with a friendly weapon
  12. Attacking the pink fortress
  13. Baking the potato
  14. Balling
  15. Bam-bam in the ham
  16. Banana in a fruit salad
  17. Bandicooting
  18. Banging
  19. Barneymugging
  20. Basket-making
  21. Batter-dipping the corn dog
  22. Beard-splitting
  23. Beating guts
  24. Bedroom rodeo
  25. Being intimate
  26. Belly-bumping
  27. Bending her over a barrel and showing her the fifty states
  28. Bisecting the triangle
  29. Blitzkrieg mit dem fleischgewehr
  30. Blowing the grounsils
  31. Bludgeoning the flaps
  32. Bodging
  33. Boffing
  34. Boinking
  35. Bonestorming
  36. Boning
  37. Boom-boom
  38. Boppin’ squiddles
  39. Bouncy-bouncy
  40. Bow-chick-a-wow-wow
  41. Bringing an al dente noodle to the spaghetti house
  42. Bruising the beef curtains
  43. Buckwilding
  44. Bulging the back of the old onion bag
  45. Bumping uglies
  46. Buttering the biscuit
  47. Burping the worm in the mole hole
  48. Burying the weasel
  49. Bushwacking
  50. Buying Frisbees
  51. Buzzing the Brillo
  52. Carnal knowledge
  53. Cattle-prodding the oyster ditch with the lap rocket
  54. Caulking the tub
  55. Cave-diving
  56. Charvering
  57. Checking the oil
  58. Chesterfield rugby
  59. Christening the yak
  60. Churning butter
  61. Cleaning the cobwebs with the womb broom
  62. Clicketing
  63. Clunge plunge
  64. Commixtion
  65. Completing the jigsaw puzzle
  66. Corking the onion
  67. Crashing the custard truck
  68. Creaming the Twinkie
  69. Crunching guts
  70. Crushing buns
  71. Cully-shangying
  72. Dancing in the sheets
  73. Dancing the goat’s jig
  74. Daubing the brush
  75. Dickening
  76. Digging up the sand crab
  77. Dinky-tickling
  78. Dipping the crane in the oil well
  79. Dipping the stinger in the honey
  80. Dipping the wick
  81. Disappointing the wife
  82. Docking
  83. Doddling
  84. Doing it
  85. Doing squat thrusts in the cucumber patch
  86. Doing the Devil’s dance
  87. Doing the dirty deed
  88. Doing the dipsy doodle
  89. Doing the do
  90. Doing the hibbety-dibbety
  91. Doing the horizontal greased-weasel tango
  92. Doing the mystery dance
  93. Doing the nasty
  94. Doing the wild thing
  95. Doinking
  96. Doodle-bopping
  97. Doodling
  98. Drabbling
  99. Driving Miss Daisy
  100. Dunking the dingus
  101. Enraging the cave
  102. Entangling the lower beards
  103. Entering the castle
  104. Exploring Punarnia
  105. Extreme flirting
  106. Feeding the kitty
  107. Fenorking
  108. Ferking
  109. Fettling
  110. Fickey-fick
  111. Fidgeting the midget in Bridget
  112. Filling her out like an application
  113. Filling the cream donut
  114. Filling the gas tank
  115. Fishing for kippers
  116. Fixing the clap flap
  117. Fletching
  118. Flimp-flopping
  119. Forbidden polka
  120. Four-legged foxtrot
  121. Frickle-frackle
  122. Frigging
  123. Fucking
  124. Funny business
  125. Furgling
  126. Getting a bellyful of marrow
  127. Getting busy
  128. Getting down
  129. Getting it on
  130. Getting laid
  131. Getting some
  132. Getting up in them guts
  133. Getting one’s banana peeled
  134. Getting one’s bean waxed
  135. Getting one’s bone honed
  136. Getting one’s canoe shellacked
  137. Getting one’s kettle mended
  138. Getting one’s Twinkie stinky
  139. Getting some stank on the hang down
  140. Giving her the beans
  141. Giving the dog a bone
  142. Going all the way
  143. Going balls-deep
  144. Going crab fishing in the Dead Sea
  145. Going heels-to-Jesus
  146. Going in the nappy dugout
  147. Going to the grocery store
  148. Gland-to-gland combat
  149. Glazing the donut
  150. Greasing the loaf pan
  151. Grummeting
  152. Gutsticking
  153. Hanging 20 toes
  154. Hanging at the Y
  155. Hanky panky
  156. Harpooning the salty longshoreman
  157. Having relations
  158. Having hot pudding for supper
  159. Hiding the bishop
  160. Hiding the Nazi
  161. Hitting a home run
  162. Hitting the skins
  163. Hitting the upvote button
  164. Hot beef injection
  165. Humpy-squirty
  166. Horizontal refreshments
  167. Hot yoga
  168. Humping
  169. Huntching
  170. Interior decorating
  171. Introducing Charley
  172. Intromission
  173. Jamming the clam
  174. Jerking it where she’s twerking it
  175. Jerking off with someone to talk to
  176. Jiffy-stiffing
  177. Jiggery-pokery
  178. Jingle-jangling
  179. Jinking
  180. Jiving
  181. Joint session of Congress
  182. Jumping bones
  183. Jumping the turnstile
  184. Knobbing
  185. Knocking boots
  186. Knowing someone in the biblical sense
  187. Launching the meat missile
  188. Laying pipe
  189. Loading the clown into the cannon
  190. Locking legs and swapping gravy
  191. Lust-and-thrust
  192. Makin’ bacon
  193. Making a magical sandwich
  194. Making it
  195. Making love
  196. Making one’s way downtown
  197. Making the beast with two backs
  198. Making whoopee
  199. Marital congress
  200. Mashing the fat
  201. Mattress-dancing
  202. Matrimonial polka
  203. Midnight jockey ride
  204. Mingling limbs
  205. Mishing
  206. Moistening the Pope
  207. Mollocking
  208. Monkey business
  209. Monster mashing
  210. Mort douce
  211. Mortar and pestle
  212. Moving furniture
  213. Myrtling
  214. Naffing
  215. Nailing
  216. Negotiating the forested chasm
  217. Nobbling
  218. Noddy
  219. Nubbing
  220. Nugging
  221. Nurtling
  222. Nut in the gut
  223. Nygling
  224. Occupying
  225. Opening the gates of Mordor
  226. Organ grinding
  227. Oscillating the unmentionables
  228. Paddling up Coochie Creek
  229. Palliardizing
  230. Pants-off dance-off
  231. Parallel parking
  232. Parking the beef bus in Tuna Town
  233. Parting the pink sea
  234. Passing the gravy
  235. Patching the hatchet wound
  236. Peeling the tree bark
  237. Pelvic pinochle
  238. Phutzing
  239. Pickling the prime meridian
  240. Pile-driving
  241. Pizzling
  242. Planting the parsnip
  243. Playing a game of Mr. Wobbly hides his helmet
  244. Playing dungeons and dragons
  245. Playing hide the cannoli
  246. Playing peek-a-boo with your vein cane in the flesh pipe
  247. Playing Tetris
  248. Playing with the box the kid came in
  249. Plonking
  250. Plooking
  251. Plowing through the bean field
  252. Plugging
  253. Pogo in the shrub
  254. Poking squid
  255. Pole-varnishing
  256. Polishing the porpoise
  257. Pondering the unicorn
  258. Porking
  259. Posting a letter
  260. Pounding the paternal piston
  261. Pounding the punani pavement
  262. Puddle-snuggling
  263. Pranging
  264. Praying with the knees upwards
  265. Pressing dangly parts
  266. Pressing the baby button
  267. Pressure-washing the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle
  268. Prick-scouring
  269. Prigging
  270. Pronging
  271. Pully-hawly
  272. Pumping fur
  273. Punch-fucking the rosebud
  274. Punching the cow
  275. Putting condensed milk on the waffle
  276. Putting ranch dressing in Hidden Valley
  277. Putting the bread in the oven
  278. Putting the email in the spam folder
  279. Putting the wand in the chamber of secrets
  280. Quelching
  281. Quimsticking
  282. Releasing the Kraken
  283. Riding St. George
  284. Riding the bolonga pony
  285. Riding the Bony Express
  286. Rip-‘n’-Dip
  287. Roasting the broomstick
  288. Rocking ‘n’ rolling
  289. Rogering
  290. Rolling in the hay
  291. Rooting
  292. Roughing up the suspect
  293. Rubbing the fun bits
  294. Rubbing wet spots
  295. Rumbusticating
  296. Rummaging in the root cellar
  297. Rumpling
  298. Rumpy-pumpy
  299. Rutting
  300. Schnoodlypooping
  301. Scoring
  302. Scragging
  303. Screwing
  304. Scrogging
  305. Scromping
  306. Scrumping
  307. Searching for pocket change
  308. Seeing a man about a dog
  309. Sending out for sushi
  310. Sexual congress
  311. Sexy time
  312. Shaboinking
  313. Shafting
  314. Shagging
  315. Shaking sheets
  316. Shampooing the wookie
  317. Sharpening the pencil
  318. Sheathing the meat dagger
  319. Shocking the monkey
  320. Shooting the meat rocket into the sausage wallet
  321. Shrimpin’ the Barbie
  322. Shtupping
  323. Shucking the oyster
  324. Sinking the pink
  325. Skeet-shooting
  326. Skinning the cat
  327. Sklooging
  328. Slamming the clam
  329. Slap and tickle
  330. Slapping sloppies
  331. Slaying the vadragon
  332. Sliming the banana
  333. Slippin’ and slidin’
  334. Slophockey
  335. Smacking the salmon
  336. Smashing buttflaps
  337. Smashing pissers
  338. Smegging
  339. Snabbling
  340. Snibbing
  341. Snu-snu
  342. Souring the kraut
  343. Spearing the bearded clam
  344. Spelunking the slime cave
  345. Splitting the hamster
  346. Splooge bathing
  347. Splurgin’ the nurge
  348. Spray-painting the cervix
  349. Squat-jumping in the cucumber patch
  350. Squishin’ the gibbly bits
  351. Sticking it in the slop box
  352. Sticking the llama’s head up the lift shaft
  353. Stirring guts
  354. Stirring the up-skirt yogurt
  355. Struggle snuggling
  356. Stuffin’ the muffin
  357. Stuffing the taco
  358. Swanky swirling
  359. Sweeping the chimney
  360. Switcheling
  361. Taking Grandma to Applebee’s
  362. Taking ol’ One-Eye to the optometrist
  363. Taking the bald-headed gnome for a stroll in the misty forest
  364. Taking the magic bus to Manchester
  365. Taming the strange
  366. Tapping ass
  367. Testing the humidity
  368. Testing the suspension
  369. Thumping thighs
  370. Thrashing the gash
  371. Threading the needle
  372. Thrumming
  373. Tickling her tummy from the inside
  374. Tiffing
  375. Tonking
  376. Torpedoing the eel
  377. Tripping down the mine shaft
  378. Tromboning
  379. Tube-snake boogie
  380. Tubular wedging
  381. Tumbling
  382. Tunnel patrol
  383. Twirling the Dum Dum
  384. Two-ball in the middle pocket
  385. Two-person push-ups
  386. Tying the true lover’s knot
  387. Using a telescope to explore the black hole
  388. Venerean mirth
  389. Venery
  390. Violating the prime directive
  391. Vulcanizing the whoopee stick
  392. Waka-waka
  393. Waxing ass
  394. Wetting the willy
  395. Whitewashing the picket fence
  396. Whittling the love branch
  397. Wiggling the toothpick
  398. Yentzing
  399. Yiffing
  400. Zig-Zagging
7 Likes

Very valuable resource. Thanks for compiling and sharing x

9 Likes

They’re all a bit heteronormative I’m afraid.

Feel free to add some variety.

“Getting busy” but no “Gettin’ bizzay”?

3 Likes

I’m not so keen on 373.

  1. Joint session of Congress

:smiley:

3 Likes

Some of these are really fucking funny, very enjoyable stuff.

That’s my favourite.

failed at no.1
very poor effort

no.248!!!

6 Likes

:rofl: so forced

pleasure shunting

you missed off “having sex”

2 Likes

For fucks sake Saps

8 Likes

don’t remind me

:sob:

1 Like

Whatever floats your boat saps

Docking is a specific sexual act, not intercourse.

1 Like

Are we all agreed that all 400 of these are @Saps fault regardless of their source?

4 Likes

Fornicating is not on the list.
Weak.

Do we, as is traditional in any list thread, now say how many we have done?