A definitive list of punchlines


#1

He can’t; he’s got no nose!

(chat allowed)


#2

BOOM you looking for this


#3

i hardly know her!


#4

And with that, I yield.


#5

She went of her own accord!


#6

Even the cake’s in tiers!


#7

I was 32 years old.


#8

“Oh it’s nothing, I’m just an ex-tractor fan”


#9

I don’t get up til 9!


#10

Looks like you’ve blown a seal, mate


#11

Because he (k)needed a poo!


#12

FTFY


#13

Well done, he’s 12.


#14

The pilot, you racist.


#15

You’re 35 years old and you still believe in leprechauns?


#16

And funnily enough, it lands on its wheels, and it starts first time and they just drive away.


#17

The aristocrats


#18

THE ONE ON THE TANK


#19

Thanks. I can always be relied on to fuck up a punchline. This is why I never tell jokes.


#20

“and then I got off the bus!”

“and that was just the teachers!”
(actually heard a stand-up use this one the other week)