Drowned in XCom Season 2 Episode 1
A Recap: A band of ageing nerds from a music forum have resolved to end the alien-controlled Advent occupation of Earth by resisting them at every turn, and uncovering their dastardly plans. So far they’ve succeeded in recovering a sample of soylent street salad, bolstered their ranks with some coke dealers, renegade aliens and the psi-blade wielding @imaperv. @Antpocalypsenow (nerd), @Jamos (ninja), @DarwinBabe (gun person) and @1101010 (a giant death robot) have all emerged as our most important personnel. @Matt_was_taken died hilariously by falling down a hole during a zombie mission.
Team Rocket, a very camp but undeniably lethal trio of alien enforcers, have made their life a misery at every turn. Meowth in particular has turned into a bete noire, slaying @plasticniki and @cowtipping, kidnapping @epimer and inflicting any number of month-long wounds. The good news is we’ve finally tracked down the bastard’s hideout, and also located Epimer’s holding pen. But can DiX make good on this prize intel, against all the odds?
(The Impression I Get plays over a montage of explosions and soldiers missing 90% shots)
Unwilling to let the alien assassin know he’s rumbled, DiX splits into two teams which carry out a double operation. A small shadow team consisting of a snuff merchant, Ant and @shinymcshine (Epimer’s bondmate) go deep into Advent territory to rescue Epimer. Meanwhile, the alpha squad bursts through Meowth’s ceiling.
The Advent holding facility is well guarded. Fortunately, in the Elder’s infinite wisdom, they left the back door unguarded. Ant hacks the lock, Shiny holds off the scrambling goons whilst Coke Friend hauls the unconscious Epimer to the evac. By the numbers.
Alpha squad meanwhile storm through Meowth’s stronghold, taking out his guards and favoured lieutenants. @colossalhorse excels, going on a particularly gruesome rampage to prevent a Muton flank. Maybe he’s not so bad after all.
Eventually we get to the maggot’s inner sanctum. He has a powerpoint presentation lined up for us. Our alien renegade friend brings forward criticisms of it in a calm, discerning fashion. Meowth blasts off for good. Cowtipped, plasticniki et al, you were avenged.
Of course, the problem with joint operations like this is that the game invariably immediately hits you with another, unavoidable mission, when all of your troops are completely knackered and/or injured. XCom 2 really makes its feelings known to me by doing this to me twice, meaning DiX are hit with four missions in three days.
A thoroughly ragged team of reserves including such no-hopers as @manches-brute, @profk and @aboynamedgoo are sent with Theo the Robot (who thankfully never tires) to menace an Advent favela. It gets predictably messy. An exhausted @bugduv flips out and alerts the Advent patrol before they can be ambushed. Whilst all hell breaks loose, Manches Brute is sent hairing ahead to set the det charges. A Faceless gives him a good swipe for his troubles. He and the Prof manage to stay calm and take care of business.
Still, the mission takes a huge toll on morale with a whole crop of new ways for the troops to panic breaking out. There’s no way DiX can complete the other mission, a supply raid, and they pass on it. This results in them losing contact with North Africa, which seems fucking harsh.
We now need new Resistance Contacts. Horse and his bondmate imaperv are sent out on a covert mission to do that, whilst a slightly fresher DiX defend the aliens’ next move, an attempt to quash the Resistance in Brazil. It turns into a huge ding-dong - particularly as the Brazilian civilians make the brilliant decision to take cover in an extremely explosive coach - but @colinzealuk and @jazzballet rains sufficient amounts of death down on the alien reavers, and Epimer also shows us what we’ve been missing. Might our luck be turning?
YOU FUCKED UP AGAIN HORSE. THAT WAS MY BEST SOLDIER YOU LOST.