A horse walks into a bar. (Tuesday Banal)


#1

The barman says “Hey!”
“Sure,” says the horse. “Thanks!”

checks watch


#2

An englishman, an irishman, and a scotsman walk into a bar.

Barman takes one look at them and says “What is this, some kind of joke?”.


#3

Shall I tell you my favourite joke, even though I feel a bit bad about the punchline

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flatmate


#4

What do you call a baby Octopus?

I don’t know, but I’ve got an inkling…


#5

whispers

I don’t like jokes


#6

If I’d known this thread was coming, I’d have saved my Penguin for this afternoon.


#7

Knock knock


#8

I don’t get it.


#9

fuck off


#10

Ah, you’ve heard it then.


#11

I knew as soon as I posted it, I’d get this reply


#12

Sorry, you’ve lost me.

Might go home in a bit, there’s nobody else here.


#13

My daughter’s favourite joke:

“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Banana”
“Banana who?”
“Banana knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Banana”
“Banana who?”
“Banana knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Banana”
“Banana who?”
“Banana knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Banana”
“Banana who?”
“Banana knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Banana”
“Banana who?”
“Banana knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Banana”
“Banana who?”
“Banana knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Banana”
“Banana who?”
“Banana knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Orange”
“Orange who?”
“Orange you glad there are no more bananas?”


#14

Why does Rupert Bear wear yellow, checked trousers?

Because he’s a twat.


#15

I like the “there are two monkeys in a bath…” joke, but mostly as an excuse to make monkey noises.


#16

‘Knock knock’
‘Who’s there?’
‘Europe’
‘Europe wh…’
‘NO, EUROPE WHO’


#17

Gutted this is the actual punchline because wanted to post something similar


#18

My sister’s favourite joke from her childhood (and still is her favourite joke probably) is:

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Amos
Amos who?
A mosquito

The only joke she can tell and she’s 27.


#19

My favourite joke:

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was out standing in his field.

I know right?


#20

What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a dog