A man knocks on your door

What kind of a question is this, Ned?

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Tone mate don’t be like that, you’re a catch.

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A man knocks at your door.

Confused you log on to your Gmail account but there is no new email. Disillusioned you cry into your green veg smoothie and falafel breakfast you snowflake millennial wimp you don’t even know you’re born.

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You’re right. Apologies!

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This is a kindly thing of you to have said, however it is 100% accurate to say she was not coming on to me.


Rejected your advances, eh?


I’ve not done owt but I shit myself 10 much because being sent down for a crime I didn’t do is one of my top fears.

Amanda Knox lost the best years of her life to this shit and now it’s happening to me too.


At least she managed to shit in the toilet first.

Yeah that’d be really nice

@anon5266188 would you like it if you, me and Joke went on a short holiday somewhere, possibly involving an unusual mode of transport such as a barge?

I would hate to be on a barge

What about a nice city break?

Yeah, much better (as long as there are no bodies of water in the city)

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I’ll ring the travel agents first thing and ask for three tickets for a nice weekend in the desert.

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I’d be delighted if Roy Orbison was playing at my house.

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Had a knock on the door on Sunday during the day, right, and I went to answer it and there was a whole family there with big grins on their faces, which soon became faces of confusion because they had gone to the wrong address




Tony, I’m not sure about how you’re using ‘pop-in’ here.