A new rolling thread where we talk about something we know nothing about but as if we’re actually an expert on the subject. Second up: Boats

This is the second of a new series of rolling threads where we talk about something we know nothing about but as if we’re actually an expert on the subject.

The rules of these threads are as follows:

  1. If you know about the thing don’t come in the thread and talk about it
  2. Nobody is allowed to make that joke about “how is this different from any other thread?”
  3. Have fun, respect yourselves and your fellow community members

Anyway, now we can start talking about boats as if we’re experts about them (providing you’re someone who knows nothing about boats)


Think she’s listing on the starboard side


Always camber the rigging to the starboard side

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That’s not a dinghy, that’s a dirigible!

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She’s built like a steakhouse but handles like a bistro


you know what the best 2 days of boat ownership are?

The day you have a really great time on your boat, and that other day when you have an also great but not quite as great time


I like the cut of your jib

Shouldn’t be in here, I know about boats. Sorry everyone.

Is it just me or is it an absolute nightmare to find an anchor these days that actually has the heft you need to park up? May as well be made of polystyrene for all the good they do!

You’re suffering from ocean madness


(Also, thanks for making the next one of these, I forgot about it)

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If you happen to be on a boat and it sinks, you should grab a door, which you can then float on until you are rescued.
please note that if you are with other people, you should make sure that they also grab a door each, as it’s a well know fact that there is only enough room for one person on a door.

Sail the fuck outta here


Anyone off to the regatta tomorrow?

Nah mate you’re gonna want a thicker hull than that. You so much as look at a rock and it’ll tear through it like tissue paper. Anything lower than 7mm and you may as well just cut to the chase and buy a shipwreck instead.

Don’t you
Regatta boat me
No no no no


You’re doing really good posts today

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If, instead of ‘no no no no’ I’d said ‘Row Row Row Row’ would it have been

  • More funny
  • Less funny
  • Equally funny

0 voters

Thank you, mate

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(First mate would be funny)