A reluctant thread about Harry Potter (in 2017) - Chat Permitted

Ok, so having been completely clueless about all plot aspects of Harry Potter (or HP Sorce as I call him (like HP Sauce but Sorce is short for Sorcery and HP stands for Harry Potter)) since the books and films came into existence I recently finished watching all of the films and here are some points/thoughts:

  • They’re really fucking long

  • Most of the children are really bad at acting and they don’t really get any better

  • I hate the ginger twins, why the fuck are they still at school?

  • It’s amusing to me that a shitload of moderately successful UK TV stars are now world-famous as a result of these films

  • Quidditch is a fundamentally flawed and stupid sport given the entire thing can be rendered irrelevant by a separate thing that’s going on alongside it

  • I don’t understand why at the end HP didn’t die alongside Voldy given that he was a hawcrux or whatever? it would have been a much better ending if he had

  • Fang was my favourite character (I also liked the fancy, show-off teacher in the second or third one)

  • It must be so much easier to play a baddie in films like this than a goodie, Jason Isaacs was great

  • It’s weird to me how reluctant these witches and wizards are to actually use spells when they would be helpful to them

Ultimately I can see why kids are dead into HP and I understand why people who were kids when they started and then turned into adults when they continued remained into it however I can’t really see why people who were pre-existing adults got swept up in them.

Thanks for reading.

Maybe should have read the books instead, mate.


Oooh sorry, did I spell a made-up word that I have only ever heard spoken and never seen written down incorrectly? Please don’t tell my Mummy


The main gripe I always have is they act all highfalutin fucking about with magic beans and whatnot but in reality we have genocide and world hunger and climate change and they just don’t seem arsed about helping out with any of it tbh, bunch o’ cunts.
The best character was David Thewlis because he’s the best character in everything.

Too late.

Anyway, I’m no HP expert, but I reckon some of your questions/plot holes are addressed in the books, because that’s the nature of film adaptations, innit.

Except for the Quidditch thing, but since we all know that every sport is ludicrous and arbitrary, it’s easily the most realistic thing in the whole series.


Children’s books and children’s films that are good entertainment for children.
Is it a modern phenomenon of adults still clinging to and consuming the culture they enjoyed as kids, or has it been going on forever and yer star wars/dr. who/harry potter lot are just the current iteration? I don’t know

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I had literally no idea at all that it was actually set within a real, modern world. Was dead surprised when it started in some normy house somewhere.

Also, they all cry their cocks off when anyone does any magic in the real world for the first two films and then by the end they’re fucking flying dragons over the thames and all sorts of shit without any repercussions.


Literal hypocrites!


Yeah, because they’re trying to circumvent what amounts to an ethnic cleansing. Think they can probably bend the rules a wee bit under those circumstances.

Oh, I don’t blame em for doing it mate just wondered why the folks on the Millennium Wheel or whatever weren’t freaking the fuck out

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About fucking time they gave a shit tbqh

“When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up”

  • Marilyn Monroe

They’re always on at Christmas, and every time I see any of them I’m always struck by how bad the acting of all the young people is (so I’m in agreement with you there) and also how cheap and shit the films look.

They must have had enormous budgets, why is the CGI so dreadful?

Hello JazzBazz, if it’s not too personal a question, may I ask how old you were when you started reading the books?

Because he trolls people on the internet then turns up at Rochester noise gigs like he’s done nothing wrong

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Big time, they do that thing where they make everything a bit blue which looks horrific and also they’re so fucking dark the whole time and also it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen for the volume being barely a whisper one minute and then ear shatteringly loud the next when you’ve got the volume set to a normal number.

Main problem I had with Harry Potter is that after the characters became 15+ they didn’t seem that bothered about sex? The sheer lack of teenagers err… being teenagers was odd to me.

No tossing off and no fingering, what kind of a school is that? Proper distracted me.


Also just replacing Richard Harris with Gambon seems a bit crass, if they had any respect they’d say look - Dumbledore’s dead ok, he isn’t in the books, but for the rest of the films he is. Ok?
At the start of one of the films or something

I dunno mate, there was a crowbarred in school ball/prom thing where they probably all fingered each other afterwards.

Not judging them pal, just asking if it’s a modern phenomenon