A thread for sporting hypotheticals


Please propose a hypothetical sporting wager and let’s see how people fancy their chances.

I’ll start:

You have to play a round of golf - a full 18 holes - against Rory McIlroy. However, while he plays the full course, you begin each hole at the edge of the green furthest from the hole.

Who wins?


If it’s me, he does. If my short game was as good as my approach play and driving then I would.


You have to play a match of tennis against anyone in the top 20.

Would you win a single game?


lol no


Would this change if you got to start from the edge of the green closest to the hole?


9 penalties against Jordan Pickford.
Score 5, you win




Absolutely not.

Even if they had to play with their non-dominant hand.

Even if they were on one leg.


I think I might be able to beat McIlroy in that circumstance.

I’ve played pitch and putt a few times and didn’t take more than four putts once I was on a green, usually two.


100m race against Usain Bolt but he has to run backwards. Who wins?

10 penalties against a top class keeper, Buffon or De Gea someone like that. How many are you scoring?


Nah, my putting is truly shit, friend.


Reckon I could get 5 past him if I could somehow guarantee that my nine were all on-target, would be more concerned by blazing them over than them being saved


Literally no chance


You know, I think Bolt would probably take me in that. I am not a fast human being.


A better challenge would be, would you even return a serve.


Yeah, I think the ability of the goalkeeper would matter less than my ability to get it on target.


You’re boxing Anthony Joshua but he’s only allowed 1 swing per round. If it misses, or is blocked, that’s his lot. Fancy your chances?


£50 on me vs bolt


I have done that (admittedly it wasn’t a super fast serve…)


absolutely not. Wouldn’t be able to cause him any bother whatsoever, he would knock out (probably literally kill) any of us if he landed