A thread idea where we describe the opening credit sequences of beloved shows of the past entirely from memory and then see how accurate our descriptions were

Okay, so the idea for this thread is that we describe the opening credit sequences of beloved shows of the past entirely from memory and then see how accurate our descriptions were.

Does this sound fun?

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I can remember the opening monologues easier than the titles:

“In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them…maybe you can hire…The A Team”


This isn’t a thread where we repeat the opening monologues of beloved shows of the past entirely from memory and then see how accurate our recitals were


“Knight Rider. A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. Michael Knight: a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law.”


Please start your own thread if you want to repeat the opening monologues of beloved shows of the past entirely from memory and then see how accurate your recitals are


A group of firemen are sat around a table. The focus is on the lead titular character. All of a sudden, the alarm goes off, suggesting there is an emergency. The characters slide down the pole, and into their fire engine, Jupiter. Our titular hero is at the wheel. They drive around the village they live in, and residents of the village wave at them as they go past. No emergency is seen, so it is unclear why they were called out.


“This is Jesse Mach, an ex-motorcycle cop, injured in the line of duty. Now a police troubleshooter, he’s been recruited for a top secret government mission to ride Street Hawk – an all-terrain attack motorcycle designed to fight urban crime, capable of incredible speeds up to three hundred miles an hour, and immense firepower. Only one man, federal agent Norman Tuttle, knows Jesse Mach’s true identity. The man…the machine…Street Hawk.”


I’ll tell you about “The Spy Who Loved Me”. All do that with your fingers round your eye. I am Roger Moore. Bang! Blood dribbles down. We’re on a submarine. Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. Then the cups start wobbling and then a man who used to be in “The Onedin Line” comes in and goes, “Why are the cups wobbling? What’s going on?” And then… yeah, you can stop doing that now. And then he peers down the periscope thing and looks through it and goes, “Oh my God. The submarine’s being eaten by a a giant tanker.” And then we cut to Moscow. And there’s a man there and he’s Russian - he’s got eyebrows, you know - and he’s on the phone going, “What, a whole submarine? You’re joking! I’m gonna have to tell some other Russians. See ya!” Right, and then, and then, it cuts to James - Roger Moore - and er, yes, he’s with a lady. Yeah. Yeah. He’s, he’s necking with her. And he goes, “I’ve got to go, love. Something’s come up.”

Anyway, then he, he, he puts on his underpants and his ski suit and he gets on his skis and he starts skiing. And he’s being chased by these Russian shits in black jumpsuits with lemon piping. And, er, he’s just skiing along like that, and they start shooting at him, and he goes, “Right! I’ve had enough of that! Just stop it!” And he turns round with his gun and then he does a backward somersault off this ramp, and he, he lands on his feet - I’m not sure why, but he’s not showing off. And then, then he goes over a cliff and he’s falling and you think, oh God, James Bond’s going to die! He’s going to die! But then at the last minute…

That’s not the end of the beginning. The end of the beginning goes like this: glang! Glanalangalangalangalangalang! Glanalang, langalangalanga, nobody does it better - and I’m a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round - Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody does it - ooh, bit of nipple - quite as good as you. Baby, you’re the best. Da, da, da - and now a really big bounce right over and I land on my feet. Da, da, da, da, da, der. I wasn’t looking, so now you found me… ooh, bit of bush, er - I tried to hide from your love life - and a woman swinging on a Luger, a giant Luger; ooh, look at that… Like heaven above me - and now another naked woman walking along the top of a gun, completely Billy Bollocks… The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight - and then one more big swing from the woman; legs go right up - ooh, what was that? Too late… Nobody does it half as good as you, baby you’re the best!


You’re a real piece of shit

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Fuzzy stills of the bustling proletariat, nondescript and chaotic as they corrupt the city streets
Random polaroids of the main cast in different poses overlapping

Can you remember the order in which the residents are seen and what they are doing at all?


Michael! Michael!

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I can barely remember the name of the residents. The lady who ran the cafe probably waved out of the door. Maybe the ginger boy was stealing some fruit from the greengrocers. Was there a lady with a broom? She probably waved a broom.

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this was my first thought too but I didn’t want to discourage ant, especially while he was dealing with a belligerent marckee

I think the ginger lad (Norman) was doing some skateboarding iirc

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Stick a pony in me pocket…

closer to home

someone flips open a phone
looks at a pager
some monitoring equipment
police arresting someone
people on the phone
people making the drugs
more phones
someone throws a rock at a cctv camera
more surveillance gear
stringer bell slowly unzips that lassie’s top
police arresting people
police badge
frequency signals
fade to black


6 yuppies piss around in a fountain