I mean, we can’t erase gender, so you have to believe in the possibility of masculinity’s transformation to something that’s not oppressive, or even emancipatory. But, as you kind of touch on a bit, the idea of ‘positive masculinity’ contains contradictions. Masculinity inherently dominates, so inherently inculcates particular power relations which depend upon subordination and ultimately oppression.
So positive/emancipatory masculinity is an impossibility even though we have to believe in it as a possibility because we can see in the real world, right now, how better masculinities are brought into being. We can therefore try and envision what it would look like to have masculinity sort of work in harmony with justice. In that sense it’s kind of like what Derrida says about justice itself - it is “therefore always to come in the future, it is never present… Justice – this is undeniable – is impossible (perhaps justice is the “impossible”) and therefore it is necessary to make justice possible in countless ways.” (actually that’s a quote of someone explaining Derrida on justice in this article https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/derrida/).*
Like making justice possible in multiple ways, we can transform masculinity in multiple ways. One way I guess is through the sort of ‘shock therapy’ that’s gone on in recent weeks. Another way is the sort of straight-faced discussion we’re having right now. Other ways are through play, which is pretty important imo. This could be linguistic, just subverting masculine norms of how to communicate oneself, your views etc. Or it could be social or sexual. ‘Play’ is a really strong transformative tool because it’s creative and it’s imaginative, and through its un-seriousness it gives room for experimentation that takes a part of something’s meaning and twists it into something that can be repackaged to have a very different meaning. I mean, that’s a foundation of a lot of kink play innit.
*I would say that I’m sure someone like Judith Butler has said a lot about this, but I wouldn’t be the person to ask unfortunately.