#99

Why have you written the answers so that the only reason for having no desire to moan is due to not enjoying it as much? I’ve never moaned, no matter how much I’m enjoying it, and for a long time wondered if people who did were putting it on conscously.

4 Likes
#100

Never really psychoanalysed it really but i thought being overly loud so that your housemates knew you were having sex would be seen as more manly :man_shrugging:

1 Like
#101

Nah, but having the woman be louder would be.

#102

On this topic, it wasn’t until recently that I realised the extent to which when people say “I heard them having sex” they’re generally saying “I heard her” having sex.

A few nights ago, i was woken up by a dude somehwere in my apartment building (or maybe two guys, genuinely hard to tell) having A Very Lovely Time Indeed. and it made me realise that literally every other time I’ve heard people at it, it’s been the lady (or the bed knocking against the wall etc)

So maybe this is because of my orientation, or because I’ve been subconsciouly programmed by porn or whatever, but I found it infinitely more annoying and grim to hear a bloke grunting and groaning and yelling “fuck” then I ever have when a housemate’s girlfriend has been over-enthusiastic. i mean he was REALLY going for it

1 Like
#103

It must be sexual orientation.

Overhearing a woman having a moan feels a bit porno-y and put on.
Overhearing a man is a bit like oh ok whatever.

Hearing your man having a manly pleasure groan in the moment is HOT. Silence would just be…weird.

#104

As a woman, I find the overwhelming absence of men displaying enjoyment in porn (not that I watch it of course) really really odd. Almost as odd as the weird fake moaning most of the women do.

#105

Actually, my friend’s ex fell into this category. And she’s quite a bit younger, so there’s probably a whole other conversation to be had there about porn and its impact on teenagers etc. But that was also annoying, albeit in a less… grunty way.

1 Like
#106

It’s because porn is made for men and men don’t want to hear another men having a moan. It’s off putting.

#107

Jon Ronson has a great podcast about the porn industry with a part about it’s impact on children/youth.

#108

i like lager and curry

#109

The fact that men are silent in porn has undoubtedly had an impact on my own moan-levels. When you do happen upon a porno where a dude is moaning, it feels really strange.

No more. From this day forward I’m a big old moaner, and to hell with the consequences.

2 Likes
#110

This podcast was really good.

1 Like
#111

Yeah but a lot of the time they just have blank expressions on their faces, crack a smile at least!

#112

They’re basically elaborate props in most straight porn.

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#113

They are almost definitely trying really hard to maintain an erection and not cum. No time for smiling!

#114

Firstly when you first start having sex its usually in places where you have to be quiet either out of politeness or the risk of getting caught.
Secondly to be a love god like takes lots of concentration, I let my eyebrows do the talking.

2 Likes
#115

Surely it’s the trying that sets you up to fail, at least in my experience.

#116

I audio-binged the whole thing in a week. I love Jon Ronson, although it was amazing how he spent so long making that and not once managed to say the word “porn” without sounding uncomfortable

3 Likes
#117

I love the way he talks so much! It’s so soothing.
No ideal when you listen to his audiobook whilst on a road trip. I could only last an hour when I had to swap and then slept in the car :joy:

2 Likes
#119

Weird coincidence as I’m just about to start into this

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Been meaning to listen to his podcast!