A thread to speculate on the cause of death of the Scottish Widows ladies' husbands


She definitely murdered him

Fell off a lighthouse



That last one looks like an album cover. I am incandescent with rage!!!


I wouldn’t buy that album


The latest iteration scarcely gives a fuck about her dead husband.

It’s a pissing disgrace.


Although, to be fair, the earlier ones were obviously only paying lip service to the grieving process and were clearly eyeing up a replacement.


Why are the widows always women? Hey? Hey?


Possible Star Wars baddie?


30 or more pints.


Do you think the grieving capes are reversible?


Not sure who’s behind this comedy account but I’m broadly in favour of it.


Because the word for a surviving husband is “widower”.


Looks like Sariss from Jedi Knight


Not sure. I kind of want one for sitting around the flat in winter though. You could swish the cape whenever you change direction.


Did some work for Scottish Widow a while ago. Essentially helped with their rebrand. I remember being angerfied at the time about the new widow, it’s absolute horseshit.

Anyway, I wish her all the best, and would gladly take her out for a delicious meal/romp in the woods.


This isn’t that kind of thread.


I was reading about Scottish Widows the other day. One of the first companies to use data to work out… how many… I can’t remember. Wasn’t that interesting.


That isn’t interesting, you’re right.



Also it was just one polygamist jock who was married to all three of these (now bereaved) ladies


Good answer. Cheers ninetyeightytwo