Serenity is an incredible, jaw dropping, audacious BRAINDEAD disaster.
Matthew Mchonaugahunk is Baker Dill, a fisherman, trying to catch an uncatchable fish called Justice. But then his ex arrives to request that he kill her new husband, who has been abusing not just the ex, but the ex and Baker Dill’s son. And then it turns out that the whole thing is a videogame, and Baker is a character within it. Everyone else is an NPC but he has some form of AI, and gains awareness that he is in a videogame. Not only that, but in real-life he was in the army and DIED fighting in the middle east. Not only that, but the game he is in has been created single-handledy by his real-life son, who in real-life lives with his mother and abusive stepdad. At the end the boy stabs the stepdad to death, but not before programming into the game that he is reunited with his AI dad. It has been made by people with no awareness of plot, videogames, or as it turns out, anything at all. Plus there’s a couple of sex scenes including AI dad’s buttocks which is very strange for the son to code into the game. I loved it.
in The Crying Game when it turns out it wasn’t a game at all, they were actually crying and then Hughie Josh Osbourne comes in and starts saying “what are you crying for, you COWARD”
the bit in Planet of the Apes where Charlston Heaton finds that big statue of Hollis Jockey Osmintorium and realises once and for all that these apes can build statues and are hence far more powerful than he had anticipated
at the end of Don’t Look Now when Jack Bauer gets stabbed by an elderly Hallory Jome Oleslaw in a red coat, instead of his dead daughter, who he assumed initially had been the one who had stabbed him to death
I remember describing the plot of Field of Dreams to the person I live with and she refused to believe it was real. Then we watched it and she loved it. It is a great film, tbf
the twist of the john cusack film Identity has always stuck with me as one of the stupidest I’ve ever seen. there’s a load of characters stranded in a motel, being killed off one by one and it turns out they are all the same person - who has multiple personality disorder
Sorry but none of these are as ridiculous as someone who is in a film called Last Christmas and literally gives away his heart just just in the Wham! song but not quite like the Wham! song. Can’t believe how ridiculous this is
No one else has seen Orphan then? Couple adopt a nine year old girl, who turns out to be a bad un, killing nuns and the like. But then she further turns out to be a grown woman who has proportional dwarfism and is just pretending to be a little girl so she can get busy with the murdering. The very best thing is that the girl has the same name as my TV, and so I had lots of fun repeatedly pointing at the poster with it’s "There’s something wrong with [XXXX] tagline.
john woo’s blackjack: dolph lundgren plays a cia agent or something (called jack, natch) who has a phobia of the colour white. he has a shootout at a dairy farm and when it gets flooded the baddie goes “what’s the matter jack, too white for ya?” and dolph replies “nooo, i’m lactose intolerant” 10/10
I always assumed this was Jeremy’s Iron revealing his location by accident, rather than by Bruce being clever. Still leaves the film relying on the odd concept of hotels labelling their aspirin bottles, but it helps somewhat.