Alan partridge related gifts to go in home made partridge crackers


like so, but normal size

need some partridge related things to go in them - gonna do best lines of dialogue instead of jokes and that, suggestions welcome. what are some small & light things/toys i could shove in there that’d be funny too? looking at a 1:100 replica of a 12" plate? can’t think. i’ve left this very late but fuck it.

plz help.


mini toblerone? tiny bottles of windscreen washer fluid? little cans of lynx?


toblerone is a goer! with a little map to dundee!


might fashion a tiny foot stuck on a spike?


you could make mini versions of the alan partridge tie and blazer badge combination pack? (at least do the badge!)


oh, tiny cans of sprünt!


Superficially damaged Chocolate Oranges
A 2nd series


where to get tiny cans tho?


a fox’s glacier mint with the quote about bathrooms


quotes mates, I need quotes and jokes and trivia

please and thanks


handful of tungsten tip screws


They should contain a torch, a Curly Wurly, a book of stamps, a digital watch with denim strap, a vodka miniature, a BIC-style razor, a miniature copy of the Daily Express… ooooh, it’s a good paper.


Tiny framed picture of Dan


Tiny amounts of baileys, g&t, and lager.


got my brother a crate of beer anyway, if I can find a baileys & g&t small enough to fit in a cracker that’ll be a winner.


And a couple of custard cream biscuits, plus the lead from a kettle.


Not helpful, but we watched the KMKY,A! Christmas special while making xmas cards last weekend. It’s soooooo good.


A mug of beans. With a sausage for a spoon.


i like the enthusiasm but you haven’t considered the smell you bitch!


Do you like owls?

You don’t want to see me in my underpants.

I had a scotch egg.

The string back just gives you a bit of extra purchase.

I’ve just been sawing some cereals.

Something else in Geordie.

Oooh, Ladyboys.