egg amateurs
Not me, the chef at my work. I can only dream of that level of egging.
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Splash of urine
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no vortex crew 
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The wide variety of responses to your question is why I have no ability to do it. Fuck the effort.
Peeling boiled eggs sometimes comes off in a neat spiral, other times I have to hack it apart as it sticks like glue. Any tips?
if I break the yolks when cracking my morning fried eggs, guaranteed bad day. luckily this morning they were gorgeous just like mother nature intended
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Rub urine into your fingers
doesn’t the vortex thing go to shit if you’re cooking more than one egg? (which you obviously are)
The vortex is a lonely child, who’s waiting by the park
The vortex is in charge of finding treasure in the dark
Yeah it does but I’m normally having a single egg on a roll.
updates spreadsheet
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Sometimes it’s an English muffin.
Do you not have a more regional name for a roll?
No but I do buy Scotch rolls over anything else.
(feel like the cob/barm/shoelace crew are putting it on tbh)
?
Get really frustrated when hotel breakfast buffet fried eggs have a film of raw egg white over the top. At least 5 time’s out of 10.
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I have a really nice one egg size frying pan which is ostensibly non stick. Half the time if I fry an egg in it with no oil or butter it will just fall out perfectly. The other half of the time it will weld itself inextricably to the pan and will need cutting away by the fire brigade. There is no pattern that I can detect in terms of heat or length of time or anything to tell whether it will be a success or a disaster.