AMA S2E9: he_2

Ask @he_2 anything you like!

Season 2 so far
  1. AMA S2E1: Rarity
  2. AMA S2E2: StupidSexyFlanders
  3. AMA S2E3: Chebbles
  4. AMA S2E4: ma0sm (REDUX)
  5. AMA S2E5: the_ravens
  6. AMA S2E6: Kallgeese
  7. AMA S2E7: Funkhouser
  8. AMA S2E8: Dingaling

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And never forget… Respect The Format

Hi @he_2

If you could be any dinosaur, which dinosaur would you be and why?

Hi he_2, big fan.

  1. What do you most regret destroying with fire?
  2. What’s your best party trick?
  3. What’s the closest you’ve ever been to one of your heroes?
  4. What musical instrument that you can’t play do you reckon you could pick up for the first time and have a decent crack at?
  5. What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done

Hi He_2, love your work. How do you rate Hendon’s prospects this year?

All the best,


Hi @anon76851889

Thanks for your question. Funnily enough, it’s one I was expecting and so have considered my answer thoroughly.

I would be a brachiosaurus.

My research tells me that the full name is Brachiosaurus altithorax which is Greek for 'Arm Lizard (Brachiosaurus) Deep Chest (altithorax). What’s not to like?

Plus, they’re extremely tall!

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Hi @he_2 - who’s your favourite brother?

  1. What’s the origin story behind your username?
  2. What’s your proudest achievement?
  3. What’s your latest obsession?
  4. What’s the funniest thing you’ve done while intoxicated?
  5. What skills would you bring to a post-apocalyptic society?

Hi @AQOS - you must be pretty cool! (That’s a very funny joke of my own based on big fans).

Thanks for your questions. I’ll take them in order.

  1. My comfort blanket that I had aged about 4. We had a fake coal fire which I remember dancing around increasingly close too with my brown blanket (orange ribbon along the top seam), swinging it like a rhythmic gymnast on LSD and suddenly - WHOOSH! :fire: :sob:

  2. I did this on Friday, as it happens. Playing Around the Clock (darts version) - hit 19, 20 and outer bull with consecutive darts. Then peppered the outer bull a further 8 times before finally finishing things, finally. The kind of marksmanship the US military would kill for (albeit probably mistakenly because there were aiming for something over -----> here)

  3. That’s a great question. I had to shuffle past Tim Key after a Horne Section gig at the Invisible Dot and mumbled an apology for almost treading on his toes.

  4. Not taking into account anything that has a keyboard (sadly ruling out the accordian), I think I could have a fair bash at the steel drums and provide a bit of a calypso to get funky to.

  5. Probably on my brother’s 4th birthday, taking my Mum’s instruction to water the garden with the hosepipe perhaps a little too literally and watering everything within the garden - including my brother - thoroughly. So much so that it was he that was sent to bed, somehow and I got off scot-free. Not even so much as a knuckle rap.

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Hi @Steved

Thanks for the question.

Early signs are promising in terms of player recruitment, the manager has had a full pre-season to prepare and I know of one or two promising names that haven’t been announced yet who should do well for us.

After two promotion play-off final defeats and two final-day relegation survivals in the past five seasons, I would be delighted with mid-table anonymity and to be able to continue to grow the club within the local community.

Hi @laelfy

The answer very much depends on the following criteria!

  1. Punctuality of birthday presents
  2. Quality of birthday presents (not necessarily cost related)
  3. Who was last to buy me a beer
  4. Whether or not they still hold a grudge for something that happened almost 31 years ago
  5. Size of my inheritance

They’re currently neck and neck with all to play for as we head into middle age.


Get off the fence @he_2!

Hi @he_2, thanks for doing this!

How long until the disappointing final act in the trilogy, he_3?

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Hi @he_2

All non-league football quesions.

  1. What are your favourite and least favourite non-league grounds that you have visited, and why?
  2. Who would you say is the best non-league footballer that you seen play?
  3. How many non-league grounds do you think you have visited?
  4. Which non-league ground you haven’t visited, but want to?
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Excellent answers, thank you. Around the Clock is impossible, I’m very impressed.

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G’day @ma0sm

Thanks for your questions! Again, I’ll take them in order.

  • My username has developed from my original monicker of hendonturnstile26 on old DiS, 12 years ago now! I used to change it every year then became @he_tu_ - a shortened version of the original on various social media platforms before re-joining here a couple of years ago and taking @he_2. Absolutely no wit or thought behind it tbh.

  • Aside from being a Dad (standard), it would be spending six months or so having trial matches as a 16/17 year old at various pro football clubs including Newcastle, West Ham, Bournemouth and Aston Villa. I think there were probably 8 or 9 in total, and although I would never have made the grade, it was a lot of fun.

  • Funnily enough (pun not intended), knowing you’re in the ‘bizness’, it’s trying to write a stand-up routine that I feel I might be able to go to an open-mic night and have enough confidence to try out. I’ve been to a few now and the quality has been variable - some brilliant some less so - but I have so much admiration for anyone that tries it.

  • I was talking about this the other day. At Oxford Circus after an afternoon of solid drinking I suddenly remembered about milk. I’d seen someone delivering milk that morning and it sprung to mind. So, I walked up two escalators on the left hand side shouting ‘MILK!’ in the face of anyone I passed. At the top of the escalators, there was a guy in front of me and I took exception to his shoes (they were winklepickers) so tried to trip him up shouting ‘You have fucking terrible footwear! Get down!’ He showed admirable balance. this is as close as I’ve gotten to getting arrested as well.

  • I’d be alright with a bit of data analysis, I think, should any be required. Plus making something vaguely edible out of little more than dust, nuclear fallout and lizard warts, on a bed of rice.


Hey Kermy,

Thanks! I love this question and the answer is - TIGER!

They look so sleek and strokable and cuddly and baby tigers are just so beautiful that they make my heart shatter!

I’d give them their own personal savannah to enjoy as well.

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Is that a question or a demand?

Hi @he_2

My questions are:

  1. Who’s your favourite comedian?
  2. If you could only ever look at five websites for eternity, what would they be? (you can have DiS for free)
  3. What’s worrying you at the moment?
  4. If you like cooking, do you have a signature dish?
  5. What question would you ask yourself on an AMA, and what’s the answer to that question?

Hi @Rarity

Thanks for your question!

The script is currently undergoing a re-write. I had to sack George of Thrones after the sham of the final series (so I’m told) and am awaiting delivery of the new version from Axl Rose.

Current projection is early summer 2043.

Hi @ynot,

Thanks for your questions - I’m a big fan of this set!

  • Favourite… Dorchester Town was brilliant, had the feel of a proper football ground without being too artificial and prefabricated as quite a few newer ones do. Wimborne Town was a charming tight little place with a heck of a slope from one side to the other and Canvey Island has one of the great pieces of terracing at a Non League ground behind one goal too and Worthing is really good. Oh, and Needham Market was lovely too.

  • Least favourite… I really disliked what Kingsmeadow became by the time Kingstonian left there - just awful, soulless. Harlow isn’t great, nor is Enfield Town. Anywhere that has a running track is pretty awful.

  • Not including anyone that went on to become a pro or came out of the pro game, it’d be Paul Whitmarsh. Prolific goalscorer, scored all types of goals but it was his first touch that set him apart. Anytime a ball over the top was played into his path, he’d cushion the ball on an instep made of cotton-wool. His movement was outstanding as well. Have seen plenty who are obviously destined for bigger and better things - Jermaine Beckford, for example, was unplayable for 18 months or so.

  • I can answer this one categorically - 121 Non League grounds to date with, hopefully, perhaps half a dozen out of a possible 11 new ones this coming season.

  • I don’t really think there’s one that I’m desperate to get to that I haven’t already. Corinthian Casuals would be quite nice to visit sometime, and a perverse part of my would like to see the Tamplin-Dome in Billericay, but without having to spend any of my hard earned to do so.

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