ROSCOE: Marlon what did you have planned for today!?!?!?!?!!
MARLON: Well I was going to play on the Amiga until sundown and then probably cook up some smoked salmon.
ROSCOE: I thought you hated smoked salmon.
MARLON: I do, but itās my favourite thing to cook.
ROSCOE: Oh well, cancel your plans! We have a punk rock band to form in response to the political situation in the United States.
MARLON: Oh.
ROSCOE: You seem disappointed. Were youā
MARLON: No, no, Iād just started to pre-heat the oven.
ROSCOE: Well, Iām sure we canā
MARLON: No itās fine. I can switch it off, I just donāt like to waste the gas. But no, if you get everything you need I can switch the oven off and meet you at the train station.
ROSCOE: Thanks, man, thanks. (beat) It really means a lot.
MARLON: Itās fine, really. Not a problem.
MARLON walks into the kitchen to switch the oven off. He says something under his breath.
ROSCOE: Wha
MARLON: Nothing. Just, just get your stuff, Iāll meet you at the station.
Cut to the train station. ROSCOE is waiting at the platform, MARLON shows up.
ROSCOE: Hey man.
MARLON: Sup.
They both get on the train.
ROSCOE: One train to America, please
TRAIN DOCTOR: No problemo
The train goes to America and they are in America and ROSCOE and MARLON disembark in America to form a punk rock band. They rent out a really expensive rehearsal space so they can inspire the disillusioned masses
ROSCOE: LETS WRITE A SONG
MARLON: OKAY THEN
M-B quickly realises that he has no idea where this is actually going and is not sure why he could write so much natural dialogue about pre-heating the oven but actually has no clue at all how to progress the main storyline of this whole bit
ROSCOE: NEEDS MORE GUITARS I RECKON
MARLON: THE DRUMMING WAS MY FAVOURITE PART
M-B is looking at the shit, aghast, wondering why heād even started typing this out in the first place. Usually, he thinks to himself, I have some heavy-handed satirical point I can shoehorn in there that both makes the point while kind of keeping a cynical, ironic distance from the point in case another DiSer thinks that the point, on its own, would have been stupid and ill-informed. Either way, he perseveres with what little he has to work with.
ROSCOE: WHAT ABOUT LYRICS SHOULD WE DO IT ABOUT POLITICS
MARLON: ROSCOE I THINK I WILL FREESTYLE OVER IT
ROSCOE: GO FER IT DADDIO
ROSCOE starts playing the song live with the spontaneous energy that punk rock is known for; he has forced five session musicians to play in his band at gunpoint saying that heāll buy them one beer to share between them if they play the song without any funny business.
They are playing the song. If you were in attendance at the session, you would probably make a remark about how this band sure know how to both rock and simultaneously roll, but as you arenāt you will just have to take my word for it and fucking trust me for once
MARLON: (singing)
THIS SOCIETYYYYY
CORPORATE OPPRESSION
MORAL DISPARITYYYY
I JUST WANTED TO COOK
A SMOKED SALMON DIIIISH
LIKE I DO ON WEDNESDAYS
I LOVE TO COOK THAT PARTICULAR FIIIISH
ROSCOE, at this point, begins to feel very uncomfortable. Having been convinced enough that MARLON had been fine with the arrangement, he now realises this was not the case and feels like really socially awkward about it. He tries to Google search for a meme that expresses this particular feeling of awkwardness, but being unable to find one, only feels more powerfully a bit alone in this feeling of intense slight discomfort. In the end, the band donāt really go anywhere. Not that it mattered because it turned out the recording studio was actually just a branch of Currys PC World or whatever the American equivalent of Currys PC World happens to be all along, so they couldnāt have recorded anything anyway. All of which essentially disproves AMANDA PALMER probably.
Meanwhile, STEVE ALBINI is cooking up a mean smoked salmon with a very self-satisfied expression on his face
