as we all know, bad tone comes out of hibernation during the crunch months leading up to each yearly release of the world’s best football management simulator (out this autumn on steam, nintendo switch and all reputable games stores). @bergkamp’s been feeling the heat already.
but on a scale of 1 to tommy from goodfellas, where is bad tone at right now?
Which person has been the biggest inspiration in your life, and why them in particular? - I would have to say that the person who has been the biggest inspiration in my life has been Balonz. His commitment to quality is what drives me as a community member and what drives me as a Quality Assurance Professional.
Who would you like to be stranded on a desert island with and what three items would you like to have? - Ignoring the cliched answer of “my partner” I would have to say the answer would probably be Serena Williams and my three items would be three tennis rackets (one spare)
Please tell me about a moment in your life where you realised something that changed your whole outlook. - This is a very difficult question, the temptation is to go for a joke answer here but that wouldn’t be fair on anyone. I think probably the moment that changed my whole outlook is generally that “everyone is basically trying their hardest” which came when my Father admitted to me that he has regrets about how impatient he used to be when trying to teach me practical skills
What is love? - It’s kind of like warm apple pie
Do you talk in the same manner in real life as your posting style on these boards? - I don’t think so, I hope not anyway. I’m fucking insufferable on here, the idea that I’m as insufferable IRL isn’t a nice one
Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like your life was in danger? When was that? - I don’t think so, no. Sorry
Do you have any big regrets? - I was the other person in an affair once, I massively regret the way I dealt with that whole scenario
What would 18 year old you think of your life now? - Would probably be pretty fucking chuffed to be working on FM tbh, would be surprised about the fact that I’m so indifferent to new music though
Tell us about a time you did something silly while intoxicated. - As a general rule alcohol just made me more depressed and insular hence why I gave it up but there was one daft bit once in Barcelona where I was too pissed and left a night early but “got stuck” on one of the main squares as I didn’t know which one of the roads coming off it I had to take, I was found hours later having literally been doing circuits of the square for the entire time and said “I got stuck” (I was a boring drunk, soz)
What’s the most common mistake that’s made in the Quality Assurance industry? - Thinking that the “assurance of quality” negates the “assistance of quality”
what is your view on Paddy Power? - Shit adverts, bunch of knobheads
and Urban Outfitters? - Evil organisation from the point of view of the fashion industry being evil but also the owners are homophobes
if you had to cook a vegetarian 3 course meal, what would you make? - Sweetcorn fritters, chickpea curry, chocolate fudge cake
did you buy that bluetooth speaker for the kitchen? - I did, it’s now in the bathroom (unused)
how is it? - It’s now in the bathroom (unused)
what’s with all the swearing? - It sometimes can be funny in an exaggerative way which masks the lack of anything funny in the content of the sentence
what is your favourite song about dancing or the act of listening to music or being on a dancefloor? - Robyn - Dancing on My Own
who are the top 5 best people (outside of DiS, obvs)? - Larry David, Serena Williams, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Sir Alex Ferguson, Kendrick Lamar
have you ever been in a Morrison’s? - I have! I once had a day off with nothing planned and went to a Morrisons for the first time “to see what it was like” my incredulous gf later took me to a different branch so I could “check out another site”
what is so good about honeycomb? - I like the texture and the taste and the fact that it goes so well in lots of other things IMO
If you could create an 11th commandment, what would it be? - Be nice to each other, please
Do you believe in an afterlife? - Nope, game over. Chuck me in a bin and be done
What’s the best thing to put on toast? - Marmite, Anchor Spreadable
What’s the best software bug you’ve ever found? - Once found a bug in FM where the ball got kicked into the air, disappeared off the screen, stayed there for 11 minutes and then came back down and the defender got his head on it like an absolute pro
Do any of your friends have an opinion or habit that makes it hard to be their friend, yet you remain loyal to them, and if so, what is it? - Constant lateness but it’s absolutely fine, I love them
What’s it like being Antpocalypsenow? - Bit of a slog at the minute if I’m honest
Hello Dino! I do like to be alone in moderation, I relish my walks to and from work and my solo trips to football matches. I have done city breaks alone and enjoyed them also.