Amazing Farts

That’s all I’ve got. Amazing farts.


I did an astonishing one on Saturday whilst painting and cleaning our balcony. The length of time it lingered for despite having taken place in a space which could easily be described as “outdoors” was a real achievement.


I’m proud of you.


What had you consumed prior to have caused such a thing to happen?

Bet it was paint.


I had had three slices of marmite toast and a coffee. The meal the evening before had been a mixed doner…

No, no. That’s not overstepping the mark at all. I’d like to ask if you can expand on this at all though or maybe to rephrase it as a question?

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Thank you very much for the effort you’ve put into this post Kermo.

The noises my blow-offs make are very varied, sometimes they are very quiet, sometimes they are high-pitched (as you described) but other times they could be described as “thunderous”. My body makes odd noises fairly regularly, this is something that I inherited from my Father (who inherited it from his Mother).

I am, however, someone that (historically) old ladies tend to smile at. This dates back to my first job as a 16 year old during which I built significant rapport with old ladies who were customers as well as old ladies who were colleagues, one of which I continue to contact some 17 years later.


Have I ever told about the time I evacuated a Games Workshop with a fart? Just imagine.

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old ladies don’t like me, I had to do some community thing in GCSE and help out in an old people’s home and an old lady got really worked up at me and said “he isn’t real!” it was really awkward.

fucking hell just remembered when I told one of the old ladies there that we were from the school she said “when are we going back on the bus?” aaaah fuck breaks my heart

didn’t go back after that week because I couldn’t handle it

another time an old lady (probably late 30s early 40s) said to me at a friend’s 18th that I would be really hot when I was older. Had no idea how to react to that

funny what your brain remembers isn’t it?

(nothing in my post necessarily suggests that the old lady I continue to contact 17 years later is actually happy about that fact…)

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Late 30s to early 40s is not ‘old lady’!I’ll be in my early 40’s in 10 years :cry:

yeah I know, me too! That’s how it feels in my memory of it though as I was a young pup at the time