An ex has just added me on LinkedIn

I say ex, we had a few dates and a couple of snogs back in my OKCupid days, but still. Bit weird?

I’m afraid that you are now obliged to go down on her.


Probably just done that thing where she’s let Linked In read her entire address book and invite everyone.

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She is a megababe… but I’m afraid I will not be able to fulfil this obligation. Shall I pass on your details?

Sorry but I am not on linkedin.

Is @zxcvbnm?

She’s probably done it deliberately as the first step in a plan to infiltrate every part of your life.

Probably looking for a job from you, if you know what I mean.

A DESK job.

Eh? Eh?

Bound to be. He’s just finishing off his archery session at the moment but should be along shortly.

She’s actually gone from middling PR bod to senior comms person at household name organisation, so maybe she’s offering ME a job, ifyouknowwhatimean.

Sorry, you’ve lost me.

While we’re here, can someone tell me how the fuck you use LinkedIn after that big redesign they did recently? It’s completely lost me.

I feel very old.

Can I still sort my news feed by newest? Because right now my second highest story is somebody wishing me a Happy International Women’s Day.

I… bye.


Sunday 19th November, you pig.


Provisional date for Winter I Fenino?


just when you thought LinkedIn couldn’t get darker

Louise from upstairs added me on LinkedIn the other day. “I’ve added you on LinkedIn,” she said to me as I was making a hot drink in the shared kitchen. I pretended not to hear her.

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linkedin her to this thread

The sexual tension is quite frankly unbearable.