🎬 And... ACTION! #3: Joel Schumacher

Director Score 1st 2nd 3rd
Christopher Nolan 3.41 Memento The Prestige The Dark Knight
Ridley Scott 3.4 Alien Blade Runner Thelma and Louise

Let’s talk Schumacher. No, not Michael, Ralf, or Schmeichel- but Joel! Joel died this year and what better way to honour him than ranking his films and panning a load of them.

  • The Incredible Shrinking Woman
  • St Elmo’s FIre
  • DC Cab
  • The Lost Boys
  • Cousins
  • Flatliners
  • Dying Young
  • Falling Down
  • The Client
  • Batman Forever
  • A Time to Kill
  • Batman & Robin
  • 8mm
  • Flawless
  • Tigerland
  • Phone Booth
  • Veronica Guerin
  • Bad Company
  • The Number 23
  • The Phantom of the Opera
  • Blood Creek
  • Twelve
  • Trespass

0 voters

Not one I know a huge amount about.

Seen:
St Elmo’s Fire- so dated by the time I got round to it that it was barely watchable
Falling Down- very good from what I remember but it has been years
Veronica Guerin- not for me
The Number 23- awful

oh yeah we need to rate him

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5

0 voters

Who’s Joel Schumcher?

dunno what you’re talking about pal

2 Likes

Lost Boys is a classic.

2/5

1 Like

weird that Phone Booth doesn’t feel that old but that the whole plot wouldn’t work now #makeuthink

2 Likes

It was Batman Forever that introduced me to the concept of Dutch angles (remember asking my brother why the camera was literally constantly tilting).

Batman and Robin is an exercise in unrestrained gleeful filmmaking, which unfortunately Christopher Nolan has completely obliterated from all cinema now, and as such we will have to teach our children about it by showing them the classics.

3 Likes

Anyway, now that we’ve covered the film side of things, let’s talk about the main issue:

Let’s say he had 15,000 sexual partners - that’s around 5 per week for 60 years. An abundance of sexual encounters. A veritable smorgasbord.

4 Likes

Gonna start referring to myself as a sexual outlaw

6 Likes

is this more or less than Ken Barlow

1 Like

The Lost Boys is a perfect Halloween film, possibly my favourite movie of all time. It has everything - a great soundtrack, schlocky special effects, immensely quotable. He gets a 5/5 just for that.

1 Like

Phone Booth is a solid concept for a film, eh. Haven’t seen it in years, from memory Farrell overdoes it a bit, but a great idea nonetheless.

1 Like

just sounds like you’re on the sex offenders register

3 Likes

What a truly awful set of movies.

4 Likes

Schmoel Schmumacher

Lost Boys and Falling Down are classics, some other very good movies too.
What the fuck was he thinking with those 2 Batman films eh?
Fucking hell Joel you idiot!

1 Like

Giving him a 3 because Falling Down is one of my favourite ever films and The Number 23 is one of the worst films ever made.

Phone Booth is fun too.

How the hell is this the third director we’re rating?!

1 Like

No matter how much good fun Falling Down and Lost Boys is, no matter how much classic rom-com-elevated-by-the-cast Cousins is, he’s a 1 because he made Batman Forever which is worse than the Saturday Morning kids’ cartoon that was running at the same time. Utterly terrible.

Batman’s nipples
5

1 Like