#21

Saw Brett Anderson off of Suede queuing at passport control at Heathrow about 10 years ago. He was miles ahead of us in the queue so my partner and I started chatting about how we didn’t mind Suede, but they were never our favourite Britpop band, or anywhere near the top 10 come to think of it, and we couldn’t actually give the slightest toss about them, and then we realised that the queue had looped round and we were now standing right next to Brett Anderson and not being very nice about him, sorry Brett.

7 Likes
#22

wasn’t @sean managing him about 10 years ago? Maybe you were standing next to ESA as well ?!

1 Like
#23

The story of how it became forever etched into my consciousness that «feliz navidad» is Spanish for merry xmas:

I was transferring at Schiphol in mid-December when I was 18. Obviously the entire place was all xmassed up. Me and my sister, whom I was traveling with, found a comfortable enough place to sit for a while that didn’t require us to buy anything — we were there for about 5 hrs, so that was very much a good thing.

In the middle of the floor in this massive hall in the airport was a giant artificial xmas tree. In the very top of the tree was sat some poor woman, who for as long as we could bear to sit there, was singing Feliz Navidad on repeat. Only that, no other songs or anything. Even though obviously Schiphol is not in any way in Spain or even a Spanish speaking country.

This was the same transfer btw when we learned that Schiphol had a very pink casino in which you could smoke. Simpler times.

I’m afraid or at least pretty certain that all the rest of my airport anecdotes that are even worth telling are frustrating or depressing ones, so that’s the best I’ve got.

#24

went to Croatia with some mates (AND THE BOYFRIEND I HAD DUMPED A MONTH EARLIER) after A-level results and had an absolute blast. anyway, we spotted Margaret Mountford formerly of The Apprentice at Split Airport, waiting to get on our Easyjet flight back to Stansted! i thoguht she was too good for Easyjet, but tbf she did have a Speedy Boarding pass.

our friend Henners, who is extremely fit (had abs and during the course of the holiday he hoovered our flat topless… truly a formative sexual experience. this was 9 years ago and my best gal pal S and I talk about it LITERALLY every time we see each other, which is quite often), decided to see if he could catch her attention - he went into duty free and sprayed himself with every perfume/cologne. on the plane he walked up and down the aisle trying to catch her eye and cheekily wink at her. he did not catch her eye.

when we landed and disembarked the plane, my friend S and I - who are ENORMOUS Apprentice fans - tried to follow her ‘stealthily’ and get a picture of her to show our friends and family. well surprise surprise we weren’t that stealthy and she was low-key running away from us by the end without ever turning around so we could get a picture. very embarrassing and awkward in hindsight but idk give me some likes or something

2 Likes
#25

Was once on a flight from LA with the guy from Wheatus and a lady (who could have been in the band or possibly just a mate or whatever) carrying gear into the cabin. She spent most of the flight with a large holdall which was stuffed and looked heavy on her lap. They sat the row behind us.

#26

Epimer’s just gonna churn out the lacto-poo stories and win every time isn’t he

2 Likes
#27

I probably do have a pooing story for every situation.

None for weddings or funerals though so I’ll need to bow out of those.

#28

Oh actually I’ve got a non-poo airport one too!

#29

I have hung out with a woman who was engaged to hasslehoff during the knight rider years.

I was in LA at the time, which I got to via two airports

1 Like
#30

that stewardess was cold-blooded

#31

It’s possible that she likes the smell of human shit. We can’t rule that out.

#32

Well done @epimer you are the Anecdote Champion!!!

is this a good idea for a series of threads

  • yes
  • no

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