Anecdotes with upwards of 95% universality levels

“A horse bit me as a child” or “a horse bit someone I was with/near when I was a child”

  • I can truthfully tell this anecdote
  • I would be lying if I told this anecdote

0 voters

Now you post some stuff like this

Looks like you’ve fucked it right off the bat

10 Likes

Who amongst us can say they haven’t “fucked it right off the bat” at some point

  • I can truthfully say I have “fucked it off the bat”
  • I would be lying if I said I had “fucked it off the bat”

0 voters

“I or someone I was with/near has fallen in a cow pat”

  • Truthful anecdote
  • Massive fucking liar

0 voters

As a child I once nicked a sweet from the pick and mix or something and it was adorable

  • It me
  • It not me

0 voters

Nope, stepped in cow shit only last summer though

I think that counts.

1 Like

Was feeding a goat (or other animal) and it snatched all the food out of my hand

  • Truth
  • Lies

0 voters

“my mate <mate’s name> invented <a thing> on the playground (or similar)”

  • haha yep! classic kev
  • not at all

0 voters

I or someone in my immediate family has been bitten by a naughty goose

  • Yep
  • Lies

0 voters

a horse almost bit me but i was in my twenties

You had a spider that lived in a bush outside your window. Orange body, green legs. You watched her build her web all summer. Then one day there was a big egg in. The egg hatched. And hundreds of baby spiders came out. And they ate her.

  • Yes
  • No

0 voters

1 Like

You put on your mum’s nightie/bra and stuffed socks in the cups to make it look like boobs

  • :face_with_hand_over_mouth:
  • :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

0 voters

I or someone in my immediate family has had their arm broken by a swan

  • Yes
  • No

0 voters

That time I/an immediate relative met a minor royal

  • Uncle Dennis never shuts up about when he met Prince Whatshisname
  • No

0 voters

Oooft was so close there. Fucked it

Your aunt/uncle can only remember 1 thing about you and it means they bring it up every time you see them for 30 years

  • That’s some stamina
  • No, I am closer to my extended family

0 voters

My good friend told me the anal sex poo dog put down story a few weeks ago utterly convinced that
A) it actually happened
B) it happened to a particular person in her hometown

Started quizzing her on it and she quickly realised it was an urban myth and looked like her reality was crumbling around her. No idea how she got to 28 years old not knowing

3 Likes

Whoever coined it really deserves a place in the best writers ever list

4 Likes

The idea that the parents came home, saw shit on the flaw, and their first step is to kill the dog is a bit of a plot hole