So last night me and my friend sent a drunken video to my pal in which we spilled a secret from about 10 years ago that he didn’t know about, for the lols. He sent a video in return with a story that I didn’t know about.
Apparently, in Wetherspoons last year, my friend Carly and some other people that I like and respect were having a drunken conversation: ‘do straight men like it up the arse?’
I’m somewhat evangelical about having things up my arse. It’s an important message to get out because a lot of men are, you know, pathetic, and feel like if they pop a finger up there then they automatically turn into a huge gay or something. It must stop, it feels well nice.
So Carly, having discussed this before with me, tells the group, without my permission, and incredibly loudly at a volume that only drunken Carly can achieve: ‘Jack [Surname] LOVES a finger up the arse!’
She makes this point at least twice as the conversation rumbles on. Fine, I don’t give a shit, I’m an open book about this stuff and I don’t mind her saying that in front of my other friends, who cares. Like I said, it’s important. Bum fun is good fun.
What I do mind, however, is that when Carly got up to leave, she realised that my mum and stepdad were sat on the next table having a quiet drink.