Annoying things about your home

The electrical sockets are mostly in odd places. For example, there aren’t quite enough in the living room, but there is a double socket at the far end of the (small) entrance hall, where there are only coats and shoes and no conceivable use for a socket there, nevermind two.

It irks me.

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Downstairs is open plan. I hate open plan, and the cats try to run out of the front door (we only let them out the back as the roads are quieter) whenever someone knocks.

A teenage boy sometimes lives in it.


My daughter’s bedroom seems to have its own horrible microclimate that emphasises whatever temperature it is outdoors. At the moment it’s like a furnace in there, in winter it was like a freezer. It has double glazed windows and decent insulation in the loft, so I’m not sure what combination of factors makes it like that. Fucking pain though.

The kitchen tapers to a corner.


Not big enough for all my stuff.


The blinds. Horrible vertical things that you get in offices and all the plastic clips holding up the slats is on its last legs so if you touch them the wee hook snaps and they fall down leaving a big gap. Finally getting them replaced soon though.

The only light switch for the loft (master) bedroom is at the bottom of the stairs (getting an electrician in to put a new switch in soon).

The phone socket by the telly doesn’t work so we’ve got to run the internet through powerline adapters to the telly (might get someone in to fix this at some point)

Bedroom we’re in at the moment is directly in front of a main road so you can’t have the window open overnight, and it’s quite hot atm

Some of the sockets are connected to the light switch. I guess the idea is fine if you put some shitey lamp in the corner but it’s not so smart when it’s your turntable.

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Light switch in the dining room is behind where the door opens. Makes no sense

Electric hob


I moved last week and we now live by train tracks. You get used to it… right?


Light switches in living room do not appear to make the living room big light work. Tested and there is power going to big light but will it work, will it fuck. And yes… I have tried a new light fitting and a new bulb.

We have this in our front room. Stupid

Can only assume that at some point someone’s fitted a new door and decided to put the hinge on the other side and not bothered changing the light switch. Every time I’ll grope the wall for a second before remembering


Ours was a new build. Either the architect was a prick or the builders hung the door the wrong way. If we hadn’t seen the house finished before we bought would have put it on the snagging list, but they could legitimately say we say before we bought.

slowly (been here 8 years) working through resolving most of them

no 1 is woodchip wallpaper and crumbly, crumbly old plaster. just the hall left to sort that in now, although at some point I will need to do the living room properly which has liner paper, and no doubt crumbly plaster underneath.

Electrics not cut into the walls properly in loads of places - so sticky outy sockets, switches and cable run things which look shit. Sorted in some rooms now, not all.

work on the bathroom has revealed that none of the walls are square - and my choice of a tile floor is making it really obvious how wonky it is. Should have got one of those floors that get kind of poured in. Oh well - I can live with it

the garden is under constant siege from evil plants which seem to start in the neighbours’ gardens,

I like my flat though, all in all

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I’m afraid you will now be involved in an overwrought murder mystery. I’m very sorry.


Current house:
Extension is the shoddiest piece of construction I’ve ever seen. Basically just four plasterboard walls and a roof. Absolutely freezing in Winter I/II, prone to ant invasion through the walls in summer.

New house:
One of the bedrooms gets fucking destroyed in black mould in one corner. We’re reorganising the house after the move so that’ll be a sitting room and no-one will be sleeping in it. Worried about putting my records in there though.

Dead space in hall before bathroom. Not sure what to do with it.

Loads of the window handles are really a bit shit, feels like they’ll snap when you close them. We have replaced some, but it appears to be the mechanism which is fucked rather than the handle.

Fucking front garden - fuck off.

The curtain pole in our bedroom is a bit high which means there’s a slither of light coming in from the streetlight outside at night beneath the curtains. Sometimes I sleep shit cos of this.

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