Annoying things your parents do

My dad has no patience whatsoever in restaurants in particular. As soon as he’s done eating, he’s asked for the bill, paid it and is trying to rush everyone out the door even if they’re half way through dessert or coffee.

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Thought that was a weird group chat name at first

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Mum mob
Auntie team
Sister squad

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My mum will x just scatter xx loads of kisses xx throughout X every text xxx to me x

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Really wish people would stop voting based on personalities and look at policies. Argh! Sorry Mum mob

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If you’re voting for Johnson or Swansong over Corbyn based on their personalities you’re still being a big silly head, tbf

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“Whatshisname was on the radio the other day”
“Who?”
“Oh, you know who I mean. Footballer.”
“I don’t know who you mean, sorry Mum.”
“Yes you do. Used to play for Spurs, Fred someone.”
“Kanoute?”
“No, not him! Little bloke, you know…”
“I really don’t, sorry”
“Well you’re no help”

She meant Robert Earnshaw.

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Yeah, but the mums like Boris for some sort of odd reason

My ex communicates via text, email and WhatsApp . There appears to be no rhyme or reason as to which she will chose for any particular message

Any time I get home for the weekend my mum immediately puts me to work cooking steaks. Generally I am a nervous mess trying to get them all right while she and my dad drink wine.

Don’t mind it so much t b h, but it is quite funny

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My mum is terrible for this

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This, pretty much. Mum says she’s a socialist, but reads the Daily Mail religiously and hates Corbyn.

This isn’t an annoying thing. I liked when my mum did this

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“That actor from that thing” is another classic.

My mum has one of those big hostess trolleys that keeps food warm. She’s had one as long as I can remember. As a result she seems to have developed a “cook one thing at a time” cooking method - even the simplest meals seem to take hours to prepare

Leaves voicemails despite me asking her not to

Goes to France for weeks at a time (booked on months in advance cos of cheap ferries or something) then wonders why it’s impossible to arrange time for her to see her grandkids

Tells loooong anecdotes about gardeners plumbers and decorators that I am not interested in

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That’s a parent classic

Tells me the exact method he would have used for cooking a meal / decorating a house / carrying out my paid employment

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I’ve had to start interrupting my dad with ‘the short version please’. Sorry dad.

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I think my mum can tell I’m not listening but just finishes the story anyway

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