Annoying your partner *Official Thread*

It’s a combination of thinking it’s weird and thinking that I’ve made it up. The fact it exists definitely means I haven’t made it up tbf.

Working extremely hard to convince her of ludicrous mistruths. Once got her to believe that the actor who played Bruce Bogtrotter from Matilda actually died as a result of eating too much cake in adult life. And that he also had a short stint as Lindsay Lohan’s boyfriend.

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We are watching the leftovers at the minute so he’ll say ‘leftovers tonight?’ and I’ll say ‘nah I thought I’d make that curry/ whatever.’ always great and hilarious but he says otherwise

Watched the OJ documentary thing before this and that was equally ripe but more drinks-based

Otherwise probably just annoy him with my annoying face

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are we sure he did exist?

Well also, supermarkets don’t stock sandwiches without a wide acceptance, ergo it’s not weird.

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Wor Lass likes things to be symmetrical and properly balanced so I’ve started making her asymmetric sandwiches.

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I’d throw this back in your face

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You can fuck right off with that, friend

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jesus fucking christ keith, did you send it through the fucking shredder first? holy fuck

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That is next level!

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I named the hedgehog that lives in our garden “Gashwrecker”.

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I worry about offending Hivemind accidentally enough as it is but didn’t realise all it takes to tip DiS over the edge is an irregular sandwich.

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Looks ace! Good work, K-dog!

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Guys, just set up my partners new phone. I need ideas on how to wind her up.

Change all of the punctuation in the dictionary to “you shit cunt” (© @elthamsmateowen)

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i ask my woman whether she has the will of a warrior when she asks me for advice.

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I don’t do anything to my partner, that I can think of. But my other half has been looking at videos on Instagram of Korean people with their pet cats. After that whenever my presence is required a cat name in a Korean accent is shouted at me. Which I obviously ignore, in a sulk, until my real name is called.

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Absolutely can recommend.

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Put all the icons on the home screen, and take a screenshot.

Move all the icons off of the home screen and set the screenshot as the background.

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