#342

I’ve advised against leaving me in the car as I could chew up/piss on the seats/bark at passers-by.

Wouldn’t be the first time, certainly won’t be the last.

#343

has done me

#344

I called my daughter “bob” for years and she didn’t mind at all despite the fact it was clearly nothing to do with her name, until suddenly one day she started minding.

1 Like
#345

J[quote=“Heritage_Rock_Bore, post:336, topic:5816”]
pretending to be in an ever-heightening state of excitement as each special offer discount reveals itself on the Scan And Shop handscanner.
[/quote]

this is a good one

#346

Pretending she’s being really impatient when I’m doling out the food or making a cup of tea or something is getting a lot of miles atm.

“Wait…”
“Huh?”
“Wait!”
“I didn’t say…”
“WAIT”
“For fu-”
“I’m going as fast as I can!”

5 Likes
#347

I should point out that she does find 70% of these fairly amusing, just in case I’m coming across as a massive arsehole.

#348

I found four opportunities to to refer to my boyfriend as Clive last night. He asked, “Why are you calling me Clive?” I just replied, That’s your name now. No more was said. I think he’s more bemused than annoyed. I’ll keep it up for a while, though, to see how it goes.

2 Likes
#349

They pretend we’re amusing but the laughter always sounds hollow…

3 Likes
#350

I’ve started rhyming stuff like I’m narrating a Dr Seuss book. The other night I asked him what he wanted for dinner after he described an apparently ashy-tasting sandwich he had at lunch and he said “something that doesn’t taste of ash” so I kept asking him if he wanted “something that tastes of mash”, “how about something that tastes of hash”, “something that tastes of gash” and so on. I mainly did it to be annoying and amuse myself but unfortunately it cheered him up so I’m not sure it counts.

9 Likes
#351

I regularly call the Mrs “Linda” because someone in the opticians accidentally called her it once ages ago.

8 Likes
#352

the tv has started saying “we’ve seen this” every time i put a new episode of a series we are watching on
good skills

4 Likes
#354

this thread is a goldmine of ideas

#355

This morning I called out from the bathroom (downstairs) and asked my husband to turn the lights out on his way out - meaning the living room lights. He came into the bathroom and turned the light out on me!

We make fart noises when the other bends over too. Endless fun.

6 Likes
#356

In my house we have a high shelf around the kitchen where we have a lot of pots and pans. We can just about reach it. Whenever my bf is over, he pretends he is in Ninja Warrior whilst getting down pots and balancing other pots. He often says “don’t worry, I’ll ninja warrior it” when I ask him to get a pan down.

He thinks this annoys me.

What really annoys me now is when I’m on my own, in my head I’ll say “gonna ninja warrior that wok down”

14 Likes
#357

I think you’re still winning though. With the whole adult baby thing. If “winning” is the right word.

#358

Oh I definitely win.

I have many, many other things I do to him.

#359

I’ve been calling my boyfriend Clive since before the weekend. It is having the required effect. The most annoying thing about it seems to be that he can’t figure out why I’m calling him Clive.

3 Likes
#360

Recently remembered one I used to do loads when out in restaurants, before having children ruined my life.

She’s really fussy about which table we sit at so we usually have to move after we’ve been seated and she’s had time to assess how she feels about the location and where would be better. This irks me no end, so as a pre-emptive counter irk I sometimes ask the waiter if we can sit at specific table as we arrive cos that’s where we always sit. Therefore she can’t ask to move without looking like a lunatic.

Shouldn’t have resurrected this one on the first time we’ve been for a nice meal together in about 18 months tbh.

Sometimes I also just sit down at a different table from her or just stand next to the table until she decides where to sit.

I’m definitely the one being irked here aren’t I.

1 Like
#361

I’m still calling my boyfriend Clive. He’s not annoyed at being called Clive so much as not knowing why.

1 Like
#362

I am fully with her.

The location where I sit in a restaurant can make or break my meal.

If i’m too cold, I need to move
if its too loud, I need to move
if the table has a wobble, I need to move

I often sit down then go “actually no I wanna try that table”