Annoying your partner *Official Thread*

Just to dispell any idea that this is a one way street her are her favourite ones

  • She’ll reply “cool story” after anything I say, from we need butter to the dog is sick.
  • she will say “are you being serious?” in a similar way.
  • when I say ‘I love you’ shell say ‘not this again, we’ve been over this’
  • when driving out from the house shell ask “is this the way you drive to work?”
  • she will always say something needs doing and then doesn’t even move. Like "oh crap, I left the burner on’ and then not move an inch knowing I will do it.
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No 3 is excellent
No 5 is standard enslavement, I’m also a victim of this

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This has worked out even better than I thought: she hasn’t noticed yet. But she asked if there have been any updates to this thread. I said I’ve done one. She asked what. I said I’m not telling you.

So she’s now trying to guess all the things I’ve been doing, which is giving me a great list of things to do that would wind her up. She’s also now not sure if the thing I’m doing to annoy her is pretending that I’ve done something to annoy her, but haven’t, thus annoying her.

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Last night after calling him Clive again: “Are people on Drowned in Sound telling you to call me Clive?” Which is worrying because, although not technically accurate, I didn’t think he even knew DiS existed. He’s obviously been looking over my shoulder without me realising. Need to be more careful…

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It was a shameful day in the turtle house when my TV found out what DiS was. Altho tbf she very much enjoyed the “Hook Hand Door”.

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Hiya DirtyPJ’s boyfriend :wave::wave::wave:

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I’ve got a bit of sympathy for him here…I’d be in pieces!!

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I keep thinking…what would happen if the TV did this and I was stoned or tripping. Genuinely think I’d end up in a mental health facility. It’s so hilariously cruel.

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I imagined her killing it stone dead by saying “No mine was the 8 of hearts”.

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Playing this really loudly out of my phone speakers and singing along “pea-nuuuuuts’ whilst she’s trying to do a crossword.

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break it down

bring the beat back

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My partner wears this disgusting fleece to do the washing up and calls it his ‘washing-up fleece’. This annoys me for several reasons:

  1. It’s a fleece - who does washing up in a fleece?
  2. He has to roll the sleeves up to do the washing up: why wear a fleece in the first place?
  3. It’s a hideous fleece.
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Nods sagely.

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No 3 is brutal.

Is it a wolf fleece? Please say it is!

No it’s blackwatch tartan :neutral_face::neutral_face::neutral_face:

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I’ve been chuckling along at this thread as it developed, and occasionally recounting the best bits to my girlfriend, she especially liked DirtyPJ’s posts.

She’s now decided to start calling me ‘Andy’.

I’ve completely done myself.

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Every April fools day I completely nail this. It’s the little muffled laugh/smirk at her not noticing the trick (which of course doesn’t exist) that makes it work. Might switch it up and do an April fool this year but that seems like a level of effort I really cannot muster

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Taking ridiculous literal readings of instructions.
E.g. she was in bed, I was getting some water, she asked me to ‘Get the light’ on my way back in. I unplugged the floor lamp from the front room and put it by her side of the bed

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Whenever I’m picking the Mrs up from anywhere public I wait until she’s seen my car and is just a few feet away before beeping, flashing my lights and waving wildly to ‘attract her attention’ (and usually the attention of everyone else in the vicinity).

She loves it.

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