Annoying your partner *Official Thread*

The TV and I share a spotify account so whenever she is in the bath listening to music I’ve started playing ‘Splish Splash’ through the Bluetooth speaker. Simple yet truly infuriating (for her).

14 Likes

I’ve done exactly the same but either with thrash metal or extremely vulgar hip hop

6 Likes

This one has done me. I’m nicking it ta

1 Like

If any thread on this website is at risk of being made into another book, I think it’ll be this one.

5 Likes

It’s got a beautiful simplicity to it.

1 Like

An inadvertent one: while he was signed into his Netflix profile I looked through all the roaring fires and breezy woodland scenes they have on there and now it’s the only thing Netflix recommends to him

11 Likes

We have our own profiles but literally never use mine coz hers is the first set up on it. Might start using mine for stuff like that, then after a while log into that one “by mistake” and see what she says

1 Like

Consider ^this yoinked…

1 Like

I’m working on quite a meta one.

Me: doing something annoying

Her: That’s really annoying.

Me: Hmmm. I know it’s quite annoying but is it annoying enough for the ‘Annoying your Partner Official Thread’? I’m not sure.

Her: Oh for God’s sake, I don’t care about your stupid internet timewasting thing.

Me: It is the OFFICIAL thread. They don’t just let any old annoyance on you know. :thinking:

Her: Aaaaaaaargggghh

9 Likes

The TV just begged me to call up her hair salon to cancel an appointment on her behalf because she couldn’t be arsed to go and had already enquired about cancelling earlier in the day. I finally gave in and took the opportunity to tell the poor receptionist the reason my wife wouldn’t be there is because of the horrendous diarrhea she’d been suffering from all morning.

TV: not impressed*
Me: laughed till my sides hurt.

  • she did find this funny later on, I’m not a completely awful person.
24 Likes

This morning while Clive was in the shower I polished one of his shoes. He’s just texted me about it as he only noticed when he’d got off the Tube and was nearly at work, one shoe polished the other scuffed and dull (though not dirty).

37 Likes

One nice clean shoe and the other scuffed and dirty is the kinda thing that would drive me fucking crazy.
Like I’d either have to just leave wherever I was and either a) go back home and polish the other b) go into town and buy a new pair!
:grimacing::grinning:

1 Like

Amazing work.

Annoying your children entry, if you don’t mind.

When playing football with my son, if I’m in goal I will occasionally announce that I’ve turned into “Super Goalie”. For about 90 seconds I’ll try incredibly hard to save everything, and generally behave like an absolute dick. If I get hold of the ball I’ll just boot it miles away, run out and tackle him, mock his shooting, etc etc.

I’ve also started announcing it with variations of “What’s that sound? Yes! You know what it is! It’s the sound of… Super Goalie!”. Saying something like “Mummy… can you hear that?” meant he knew exactly what was coming, although I’d still go through all the rigmarole. Now I just need to make a listening face, and he’ll bellow “Aaaaaaaarrrrrrggghhhhnnnnoooooooo, not Super Goalie!”

If he does score past Super Goalie though, Super Goalie gets in a big theatrical huff and he’s absolutely delighted for ages. So it’s win win.

33 Likes

This is inspirational stuff

5 Likes

In an attempt to calm the boy at bedtime and stop him fidgeting, I used to ask him “is it bed time or is it tickle time?”, at which point he’d calm down and say “bed time”.

Now I don’t even need to ask. I just stop what I’m trying to do, look at him and raise my eyebrow.

3 Likes

I also have a tickle face. Yours sounds a bit Roger Moore, mine is more Jack Nicholson through the door.

1 Like

Have recently taken to travelling around the flat by punt. This means I walk very slowly and pretend I’m using a bargepole to move myself around. This is always very well received when I’ve been asked to fetch something or check where the cat is.

16 Likes

Was just thinking about this one again :grinning:

Proper belly laugh at this