When she’s already sat on the sofa, sitting down, putting the cat on my lap and saying ‘oh can you pass me x? The cat is on me’
2 Likes
my family all use “can’t get up, cat is sitting on me” as an excuse to get others to fetch things for them, but none of them have yet tried putting the cat on them in order to use that excuse
1 Like
Best thing is it works. Even if she’s been sat down and it’s obvious she’ll just huff and still do it
1 Like
Her: “How did you sleep?”
Me: “On my back.”
“I closed my eyes and drifted off.”
“I don’t know, I was asleep.”
1 Like
I’ll try those.
Currently living at her parents’ while our purchase goes through - probably a far greater example of ‘Annoying your partner’ than I could ever hope to inflict on her tbf.
For one reason or other they have a child-sized knife and fork in the drawer, I keep giving these to the TV when setting the table.
32 Likes
I used to do a similar thing with my daughters’ clothing when I was sorting out the washing. I would hold up a five year old’s t shirt or skirt and ponder out loud “now I wonder who this belongs to? Hmmm, tricky”. The TV, who is rather petite would be outraged and beat me up. Good Times.
Doesn’t work any more sadly. My daughters are now teenagers and the same size as the TV and so when I sort out the washing I genuinely have to ponder who the clothes belong to.
3 Likes
They’ve done you like an absolute kipper, mate.
12 Likes
you’re just gonna have to dial up the banter
hold up something that could belong to anyone except you and say “ooh i like this, i might wear this to that party I got invited to, what do you think?”
1 Like
It wasn’t a partner, just a friend. But on the rare occasion that we saw a classic dog kennel with sloping roof, I’d say, “Pablo, is that your house?” Feel free to use this if the occasion arises.
1 Like
Started watching parks and rec again with the kids. Enjoy8ng whistling the theme tune EVERY time. Mr S hates my whistling…and loves the theme so it’s double irk
Also commenting on how handsome Chris Pratt is, all the time.
2 Likes
Does annoying kids count? They are well into the soundtrack to the Greatest Showman and I keep singing the words wrong. “Never, never, never enough” becomes “always, always, always just right”. “A million dreams” becomes any number from one to nine billion dreams is all its gonna take. They seem to not get it which makes it even better. “No, it is not this is the blandest show, it is this is the greatest show!”.
3 Likes
Which wools did you buy?
there’s a jamaican place near us called Jerk House and it’s always a rush between me and gf as to who can say “that’s your house that is”
22 Likes
used to sing “it is/time to/watch some/parks and/rec” to the last bit of the theme tune. you can have that if you want, feels good
1 Like
Every time we walk past a local pub called the Old Punchbowl I say in a dramatic werewolf-like howl ‘The Oooollllllld PUNCHbowl’ and punch the TV (lightly). Every time.
4 Likes
There’s a nice pub on the river near us called The Brampton Mill that you can see from the train just south of Huntingdon. Every day when we’re on the train to and from work, I point it out as if I’ve never noticed it there before. “Oh look - there’s The Brampton Mill!” Her level of irkage continues to rise.
2 Likes
I’ve started shushing her when she sneezes. Or is about to sneeze. Or might be about to sneeze.
10 Likes
Why do I torture myself with this thread? I would be such a good annoying boyfriend
1 Like