Annoying your partner *Official Thread*

[manches]

Why do I torture myself with this thread? I would be such a good annoying boyfriend

[meowington]

I can tell when my bf is about to sneeze and I’ll be like “NO DON’T DO IT! DONT SNEEZE” and then he won’t be able to sneeze and he says I’m vile for doing that to him

[chanticleer]

I call it sneezeblocking. The thinly veiled hates it.

So naturally I do it whenever the situation presents itself.

[Epimer]

I’ve got a Jamie Oliver food processor because I needed a food processor, it seemed fine and I don’t care about that fat-tongued twat’s endorsement. Because of this, someone bought me a Jamie Oliver cookbook. Because of that, someone else assumed I like Jamie Oliver and got me another one. Twice.

This all happened before I met my darling partner and I don’t think I’ve explained why I have so many things with Jamie Oliver’s name on them.

Anyway, see this big blank wall on the left?

I’m currently trying to convince her that I want a massive blown up print of this on it.

[sadpunk]

Seek forgiveness, not permission

[Raanraals]

Went there for lunch on Saturday, taking a little boat that docks right outside the pub. Naturally, as soon as the pub hoved into view from the river I pointed it out with surprise.

[ma0sm]

Can we update your title to “Jamie Oliver Fan”?

[Tuna]

pukka!

[Epimer]

FUCK OFF TWITTER

[bugduv]

Getting a very definite…

…vibe about that kitchen.

[Epimer]

It’s a bit sterile, isn’t it? Looks like the current owners dissected cats on that kitchen island.

I want to put in wooden counter tops and see if I can get Dr Mrs @sadpunk to do the tiling.

[sadpunk]

I’m afraid she’s got the rest of our kitchen to finish first. And then the bathrooms.

She should be free from Jan 2021.

[Epimer]

Bargain!

[sadpunk]

Free in availability, the work will be expensive!

[Epimer]

I’m going to host January Fenino 2021 in my house. If a bunch of tiles and grout just happen to be lying around in the kitchen which also just happens to get barred shut with everyone in it, then that’s out of my hands.

[Steved]

Have started speculating that the upstairs neighbours have a cleaning based fetish, so whenever we hear them at it I decipher their muffled voices like so:

“Ooh, I’ll just put on my overalls”
“Pass me the Mr Sheen, mmmm”
“Is it my turn to be the mop?”

I have no idea which corner of my psyche this crawled from but it’s producing spectacular results.

[thosegoldsoundz]

Big fan of sticking my finger into the TVs open mouth just as she’s about to sneeze. Makes her very cross

[Tuna]

Yawn? Sure. Sneeze? That’s some amazing reaction time

[thosegoldsoundz]

She gets the treatment for both, but sneezes are easy enough if we’re on the sofa and it has a build-up (“ah ah ah ah” inserts finger in mouth)

[Epimer]

The annual open day at work is coming up, where friends and family can come on site and do a factory tour. It’s aggressively dull. I’ve told 'er indoors that it would mean a lot to me if she came to see the context of my work.

It’s a Saturday, too.