Annoying your partner *Official Thread*

I mean, it’d be weird if you were the only one in my group not dressed as an owl, so

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Is this something you’d have to go on too, or can you just leave her to it? because… damn.

Why would I go? I’ve already seen it. Plus spaces are limited, so it would be selfish of me to take up room.

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She’s going to buy Owl Monopoly on the way home and insist you play it. With the Free Parking rule.

Games shop will probably be closed by then. The tour is very thorough.

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You have to manufacture patents?

Most of them we dig out of the patent mines and refine in the plant.

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have taken to saying “watch for my signal” a la batman whenever i’m asked to do the most minor of tasks, think i can get at least 6 months out of this

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Clive annoyed me last night. Really annoyed me. Though not on purpose.

After drinking in various central London bars and pubs with friends last night - “I won’t stay out long, I reckon I’ll be home at eight” - he got the bus home at maybe midnight or something.

I was nicely asleep already. It was half past one in the morning and he phoned me. To let me know that he’d fallen asleep on the bus and woken up on Cockfosters.

Well, thanks. You could have told me in the morning when I woke up.

Before I could fall asleep again, he phoned to let me know that he was back on the same bus coming back in the direction of home. He knew it was the same bus because two other sleeping people were still on the bus, still asleep.

I didn’t need to be woken up to be told all this. I’m annoyed.

Now I need a good idea for a revenge annoyance…

I am absolutely terrible at being quiet after a few drinks.
The one that annoyed her most was asking the google speaker thing what the weather was like in Copenhagen at 2 in the morning.

Other times I have tried to be thoughtful and use the light on my phone to get into bed without turning the lights on and end up shining it right in her face or try and go with no lights and swear when I stub my toe.

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Clive keeps turning the sound up on the Echo so when I tell it to turn the lights on it shouts “OK!” back at me really loud.

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Friend of mine got home in the early hours after going out for a “quiet pint”, didn’t turn the lights on so as not to disturb his wife, went to lie on the bed, and landed heavily on the floor as she’d rearranged the room in his absence.

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B has gotten really into crumpets with ketchup (I know, absolutely vile). In the face of this abomination my salvation has been singing “She likes crumps with her 'chup, 'chup, 'chup” to the tune of Sisqo’s Thong Song. She’s not a fan of this.

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I keep the following tab in my browser when i’m on my computer at home.

https://sadtrombone.com/

Clive comes in the room and says something to me. I just click on the “Play” button.

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how much ketchup are we talking?

1 firm squirt from the bottle. A pretty standard amount.

might give that a try

Dear god. What have I done?

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THIS is what I get and it makes me fucking livid.

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