I used to make an ex jump by putting a warm tea spoon on her skin or whatever.
put a really hot one on her back once…left a mark and made her cry
good times
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The ‘shit cunt’ iPhone one from the original thread always makes me lose my shit with laughter.
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Glad we all sorted smee’s sex life
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bows
I was incredibly proud of that one.
I also, using that same tactic, recently got her to message her Mum ‘Wanna Cyber?x’
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*Smee’s ser life
Started introducing her to people as my ‘current wife’. I can’t tell whether the look of consternation on her face is because she thinks I’ve hidden a previous marriage or that I’m planning to marry again in the future.
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I’ve been using my unified remote phone app to decent effect. Gradually turning the volume down when I’m in another room, pausing music until she gets up to fix it then unpausing it, etc.
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I like to put the Kurt Angle entrance music on the Sonos when she’s watching TV.
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Do you shout “You suck” at the correct parts while it’s on
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I’m normally out of the room
Pretending our second daughter isn’t mine.
It ties in quite well with the fact the GF decided to get us a window cleaner a couple of years ago despite our windows being shitty failed double-glazing that you can’t see out of anyway.
*Sound of ladders outside
“Hey kid, your Dad’s here…”
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Wet willies.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Oi, dick-avatar.
Dick Avatar is my favourite robot PI.
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Sonos is SO great for partner trolling.
I often put stuff on when I can connect to the wifi outside/turn it up. You can see the screen of the tv from just outside the front door and I could see she was playing Tomb Raider - as soon as she got to a stressful bit I cranked the soundbar right up 
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I’ve started doing this thing where when i’m returning an item of clothing I bought, I say “I got £50 paid to me for free today for taking that dress back”
and he’ll say “but you paid for that in the first place”
and i’ll say “no but it’s like its free cause you’ve just been given £50”
and it goes round a lot and I never give in and he gets quite annoyed.
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YOU’RE THAT PERSON FROM THE MUMSNET THREAD ABOUT THE JEWELRY
this sounds like it could be a good DiS thread