Started dropping in ‘you’re old enough to be their mum!’ whenever we’re talking about anyone even the slightest bit younger than her. This worked well with Timothée Chalamet the other day. My wife turns 31 this year.
This could have promise:
turns 31 this year.
This means you can do the classic 30 second celebration for her 32nd birthday next year. Already planning this for B. Gonna set a timer and let off a load of party poppers, give her a card, present, blast a kazoo, sing happy birthday and then pretend her birthdays over as soon as the timer runs out.
Spend our walk to town this morning trying to convince her that The Prestige was based on David Copperfield.
I’ve been doing a variation on this for a whole now where, for example, I’ll just ask my wife ‘Do you remember that bit in Home Alone?’ ‘Which bit?’ ‘You know, when he’s home, alone’. Novelty wore off on that one pretty quickly, which you’d think would have deterred me.
I’ve taken to doing the occasional exaggerated ducking motion when we’re out and about when going through doorways which are much taller than me.
When going up or down the weird trolley escalator things at big supermarkets, there’s an announcement thing maybe 10 seconds from the end that says ‘please prepare to push the trolley off the end of the conveyor’. I’ve started really preparing. Limber up, cross myself, get into a sort of bobsled pose behind the trolley then a little fist pump when I’ve successfully pushed the trolley off the end of the conveyor.
Think she actually finds that one funny though, for now
Have taken to pointing out trams round the city, and saying “Ooh, looks like a big one!” to every single one. Got a three-for-one family irk going on.
- There is definitely room on this site for an “Annoying your children OFFICIAL THREAD”
- There definitely isn’t. Take it to Mumsnet.
Haven’t got kids but I’d like to read these posts, and winding up nephews, friends’ kids, random kids at weddings etc. is also very fun
13 year old nephew came round to walk the dogs with us the other week. he spotted a dalmation and was dead excited so gf decided to convince him that she couldnt see it, which we eventually escalated into dalmations not actually existing and having been invented for the film 101 dalmations. ive got to say, winding up 13 year old nephews is good
I’ve started using the hand claps to switch off the light that someone was talking about up thread, it’s going about as well as expected.
The TV also loves to tell me how unfunny I am so after a joke dies on it’s arse I’ve started Mansplaining just why it was brilliant. There’s some quality irking going on.
Got a new one, have been practising my John bercoe impression ( in the shower) and now I use it (saying ‘order’ in really weird ways) to either announce my presence in the room or conversation.
I’ve started harmonising with the oven timer until she turns it off.
Clive does this already. Plus various male and female newsreaders (as previously mentioned).
Quite a small one, but we’re watching a lot of Hell’s Kitchen at the moment and whenever anyone refers to him as Chef Ramsay I’ve been saying 'Jeff? I thought his name was Gordon?" and referring to him as Jeff Ramsay throughout. Seems to be working.
I have hung my Netrunner plaque up in the bedroom.
@kermitwormit this is the natural progression from that universally hated songs thread
Although it happened before it bc I try to stay away from this thread
God dank it