Annoying your partner *Official Thread*

  1. reduce load on the indoor bathrooms by

Shitting together. A couple that shits together stays together.

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Congratulations!

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Iā€™m really not kidding on the breathing thing, sadly. Iā€™ve had some problems lately with a lot of phlegm building up in my throat, so Iā€™m clearing my throat a lot. This bothers me, but obviously you tune it out a bit yourself after a while, but itā€™s obviously bothering her more. A little while back I noticed that she was pretending to clear her throat every time I did, which obviously got on my tits as well. This culminated inevitably in a ā€œoh shut upā€, ā€œno you shut upā€, ā€œI canā€™tā€ etc stand-off that was to put it bluntly really upsetting. Iā€™ve been trying to drink a lot of water recently which seems to help a bit, butā€¦ not been a fun few weeks.

Sunday is our first wedding anniversary.

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Thanks boss!

Yes Congratulations, and also presumably to @Raanraals about a month ago?

Congrats big lad!

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Iā€™ve been getting some good mileage out of telling my wife I want incredibly boring and practical things for Christmas and my birthday.

Started with her asking me what I want and me saying a smart thermostat. That wound her up (ā€œa thermostat?! For Christmas?ā€). Then moved onto a loft boarding kit (ā€œwhat even is thatā€) and in the last week have been telling her I want a bigger recycling bin from the council (ā€œyou can fuck offā€).

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You jest but my boyfriendā€™s aunt genuinely asked for tesco own brand 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner one year

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Being a boring man I would actually be delighted with any of my suggestions (although maybe not a 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner)

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I told my parents I wanted an outdoor extension lead when they asked the other day.

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That sounds pretty shit :frowning:

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Weā€™re in a family secret santa and its obvious one of my bfs brothers has me as heā€™s told me my santa has asked what I want and I really want a door mat Iā€™ve seen online. I told him ā€œI want that oliver bonas doormatā€ and heā€™s like ā€œlolā€ and iā€™m like ā€œiā€™m serious, I really want a door matā€

For gift context from my parents due to me asking:
For my 30th I got kitchen knives
for my 29th I got a heated airer
For my 28th I think I got a duvet :laughing:

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Iā€™m getting a Microplane and a citrus juicer and Iā€™m very stoked for both

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planning a murder and disposal were we?

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I really want a bath mat (nay, I REALLY want someone to make this particular bath mat come back in stock https://www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-partners-flower-tile-tufted-bath-mat/p4810642 )

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I really like that bathmat.
I bought a STUNNING bath mat from Homesense which is white with HUGE monstera leaves on it. Loved it I did. Then washed it and the green ran out into my bedsheetsā€¦then washed it several times more and itā€™s still running!! But I love it too much to part with it.

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Thatā€™s nice. Looks like it could be a bathmat appearing in Midsommarā€¦

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Recent favourite: whenever weā€™re in the big supermarket in the cookware section, Iā€™ll go full David Byrne and give it a ā€œTake a look at these pans!ā€, ā€œThereā€™s a tumbler!ā€ quite animatedly

Started to wheel it out wherever else I can, such as in the beer aisle (ā€œcansā€), vegetables (ā€œyamsā€), etc. Havenā€™t cracked my partner yet, but itā€™s only a matter of time

(come to think of it I think I spoke about this with jezza_irons at the boozer? did I nick it off him? lol)

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