Any stories of good blagging?

When I went to the new spurs (rip) stadium I blagged us into the posh hospitality floor where you get a beer in a proper glass and stuff. Not quite the directors box but I think the £250 a ticket level.

So odd being at a football match with the crowd noise outside, yet just 5 yards away there’s a few dozen people sitting down to a Michelin star level fine dining lunch.

About 5 minutes before kickoff we tried to leave to go up to our seats with the plebs but they’d locked us in/out and I had to blag out way out of there, the steward on the door was very confused - they pull the blinds down so that you have to at least attempt to watch the match if you’re legit there - also think that’s because you’re not allowed to drink alcohol in view of the pitch or something?

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Here’s a real one though.

Pretty low scale blagging, but back when I first moved to London, me and a few of my friends would find free tickets to things like “The Spanish Show” or “Italy Celebrated” or some other thing being hosted at a conference centre, usually Islington & probably subsidised by tourist boards and the like. Often they’d have quite a lot of stalls for vineyards and I’d go up, talk a little bit to the person on the stall while eyeballing all their wines, then ask to try some, namechecking the most expensive bottle. They’d usually free pour you a bit, you can chat a bit longer, then thank them and move onto the next stall. Within a couple of hours, we’d usually be head-spinningly drunk, though that wasn’t particularly sociable as they’d often be in the morning - early afternoon.

However, then there was Beer Exposed.

A similar conference-style thing, but focused specifically on beer. The whole thing had sold so badly, that in the streets in the couple of weeks leading up, there were people just handing tickets out to commuters as they left the tube, all free. I’d told a few people about these free booze opportunities, and had convinced quite a few that it was worthwhile going along to this one as the focus was specifically beer. I had no idea what would be in store, but knew there would be beer of some sorts.

Anyway, immediately on arrival, you’re given a free half-pint glass and there was the Asahi stall filling them up as much as you like 100% for free. No need to blag or chat, just essentially a free bar. We were there at 11AM, not long after it opened, and could not believe it. I texted pretty much everyone I knew updating them on the situation before moving in to look around. There were so, so so many stalls, it was ridiculous. All different brewers, all offering free samples of their beer. Some small, some bigger, but all something and so many different kinds you didn’t even know where to begin. Within an hour or so, I knew about 20-30 people, friends, workmates, their friends, strangers I suddenly was chatting to, half-cut. It was amazing. One of my friends who’d gotten a little too excited was thrown out after an hour after trying to cycle the “Grolsch beer bicycle” which was elaborate and very clearly for display purposes only.

Still have massively fond memories of that day. I remember needing a disco nap afterwards before we went out that night, but it was all worth it. After it was closed we went to get some food to sort ourselves out, and made a pact to go every year for as long as we were living in London. Unfortunately shortly after the credit crunch happened, and there never was another one.


Not sure it counts as a proper blag, but a few years ago Youngs brewery had a promotion where you got a free pint at their pubs for signing up to their app. No validation at all, so we plotted out a very nice pub crawl and didn’t pay a penny. Managed to get repeat servings in some pubs and all.

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pretty good at not paying for train tickets and then just acting really gormless and like i didnt know the rules if i get caught

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When I was a kid I went with my friend and his sister to see Temple of Doom

It cost £1 and my mum gave me a pound note

When I got to the box office I couldn’t find my pound. Everyone else went in while I stood there frantically searching my pockets and getting a bit upset

Eventually the box office person just let me on for free

When I got home I found the pound note kind of shoved up the top of my pocket. I didn’t tell my mum and probably spent it on sweets

Obviously when I watched the film I was immediately aware of how problematic it was and sent a strongly worded letter to Lucas and Spielberg


Once went on a trip to Italy for work, all expenses paid. My only outlay was my train fare to Stansted airport from Manchester, about £80, which work would reimburse on expenses.

Went on the trip, had a nice time, about to get the train home when the woman running the trip said “oh, I owe you for your train fare, how much was it?”. Bit confused, but didn’t want to argue, so I told her it was £80.

At which point she says “Right, so that’s £160 for the return”, and handed me eight £20 notes. I got on the train thinking, fucking hell I’ve just made £160 here out of nowhere, cos I can still charge the train ticket to expenses, what’s all that about.

Then the ticket inspector came round, looked at my ticket, said it wasn’t valid on that service and fined me £150. Easy come easy go.





They existed when temple of doom came out

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Fact check!!

They existed for 4 more years after temple of doom



Phew - a bit worried I’d fabricated the whole memory then


I have a story of my family which I’m not really sure what happened

We were driving back from seeing grandparents when we passed Old Trafford. My dad’s a Man U fan so wanted to go in and have a look. We ended up going on a day when the entire squad were doing a meet and greet hosted by Ulrika Jonsson and someone else (I think maybe Eamonn Holmes). I have no idea why they were doing it or how we got in but I was 8 or 9 at the time and liked Aston Villa, so when it came to going up and meeting the players (basically was just shaking walking down the line and shaking their hand), I started crying cause I didn’t want to meet them. I remember Peter Schmeichel asking why I was crying and I think Fergie said something about how he’s not that scary to meet.

A few months later, my parents got a letter from the organisers of the event apologising for the delay in it starting and offering free tickets to a training session, so we ended up watching the Treble squad train. Can’t remember too much of it apart from the players all came over to do a signing after and I got autographs in an Aston Villa autograph book


Baller move

Was once mascot at a Grimsby match (don’t ask) and the tannoy guy said my favourite player was Peter Schmeichel and I got booed


Add a hi vis vest to the equation and the world is your oyster.


Throw in some bawdy sex and you’ve got a fresh Canterbury tale there

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I had a job where I had to spend a lot of time at the airport and look for tour groups that had gone missing and help out people with lost luggage and that sort of thing.

I used to just hold my clipboard out and stroll through restricted areas (usually from arrivals lounge into the baggage areas, sometimes further on, towards the gates).

No security credentials whatsoever. Probably broke about a dozen anti-terrorism laws and risked 25 years in jail.

No one ever questioned me


Used to get into pubs underage by taking my Mum’s passport out with me then being all ‘ha! what am I like, I’ve gone and picked up my mum’s passport by accident, silly me. Happens to the best of us eh!’

Worked amazingly well, couldn’t hit the same bouncer twice with it though


Had a Young Person’s Railcard for an illicit extra five years because the (handwritten) 3 in the year of my date of birth looked a bit like an 8 so I’d just write that on each new application.

as an ongoing one, with I’d assume a very decent, possibly regular value, that is gonna be hard to beat

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when I was 16/17 I was the one who could get served booze cos I had a (shit) beard

one time I went in to the Threshers in Winchester (now a KFC I believe) and asked for a bottle of sambuca - which at the time I’d never even heard of.

the bloke wrapped it up, and then while I was looking at my wallet, asked if I had any ID

I said “well you didn’t ask me for any last time…” and then looked back up at him

thought I was rumbled, of course but instead he very nervously said “actually erm, yeah… now that you look up you… uh… you do look a bit older sorry”

I couldn’t believe it, it was obvious that he felt quite bad and thought he’d upset me :joy:

after that I’d always go in when he was working (which helpfully was the Friday afternoon shift) and have a chat while selecting what I wanted