Apartment / Flat dwellers



Looking at moving very soon and have been checking out apartments.
What are the pros and cons of flats/apartments? What’s better: ground floor, or higher?


ground floor = you get broken into
other floors = you have to walk up stairs


PROS: can be cheaper
CONS: everything else


Pros: less areas to clean.

Cons: no banister to slide down.



can’t think of any




people above & below you

fuck sake.

people above & below you = you don’t need heating on as much


Go top floor to avoid listening to people clomp around all the time. Also remove all carpets and have a baby who likes throwing things onto the wooden floors for hours.


But I like throwing things onto wooden floors for hours


First floor is best - high levels of security, but only one set of stairs.
Basement flats are for small people.
Cons: you are surrounded by neighbours, so be prepared for neighbour noise.


PROS: You can get a piano and invite your dad over and pretend you’re Frasier
CONS: Dogs rarely allowed


Don’t be fooled by communal gardens. They will not be used.


Pros: Easy to clean, no stairs (I love how easy it is to nip to the bedroom, or whatever), less chance of being broken into (probably. unless you’re ground floor), cheap to heat, your neighbours could be lovely.

Cons: My downstairs neighbour gets a lot of trouble from one of the other apartment-dwellers cat always coming in if she opens her window. Hearing the person upstairs opening kitchen draws constantly and having arguments on the phone, your neighbours could be cunts.


Top floor: have to deal with leaking roofs*
Ground floor: have to deal with upstairs neighbours talking to you about paying for leaking roofs**



A flat in the city > a house on the outskirts. IMO (for my current lifestyle - this may change)

Obviously it’s not a binary choice in all cases. But I’m not arsed about owing a house. Too much faff.


I go with top ceiling uppers to remove the debate.


I live in a basement flat, so we have sole access to the garden, which is nice, but also also to maintain the garden, which is a ball ache.


Also flats are good for getting annoyed when your neighbours use the landing as storage for their shit.


Yeah I thought I’d enjoy gardening.

I now realise I hate gardening.


I thought I really wanted a place with a garden until I got one.

It’s like RAAAIIIIIIIIN on the ballache garden.


Can stuff just FUCKING LEAVE IT YEAH and stop FUCKING GROWING for five FUCKING minutes?

Smug photosynthesising cunts.