App Ideas



Look, we’re not all brainiacs who can develop apps and make our millions that way.

Use this thread to post ideas for apps which when some brainiac gets rich off the back of it, you can refer to this thread in court and take 60% of the company.

I’ll start.

A bullying app that transfers money electronically from one account to another, but the phones have to connect via bluetooth for it to work, so the money can only be stolen by the bully when in threatening range. There would be restrictions to the amount and frequency to keep it fair, and 1% of each transaction would go to a charity of the bully’s choice. It uses an algorithm that scans your Facebook profile to decide whether you get to download the bully or bullied version.


An app that shows an old Asda receipt on screen when activated, so that muggers go “give us your phone you cunt” and you go “I don’t have one, look, I’m only carrying this old Asda receipt which is worthless to you. Fuck off!”

The app must be able to be activated from your pocket.


Voice activated “Asda receipt initialise”


That should work. Also, as a backup measure, if your phone is stolen you should be able to access another app from a computer or some other device that instructs the screen to become brighter than the sun, thus rendering the phone unusable.


GPS Tracker thing (Like @Jeremys_Iron & his other 'arf) for cleaners of office toilets. Letting you know where they are, and an ETA at your floor, to help you time your shits.


Also works the other way, you could time a shit just before they pop in to clean it sucking in big breaths of Agger-do-do as they go.




an app that you type in your details, age, sex, job, education, location, race, how much cash you have, absolutely loads of stuff, then you type in an ambition you have, and a time frame you would like to achieve this ambition in, then it goes over all the data in the world, and produces what is effectively a step by step training plan of how to achieve your ambition.

ambition could be ‘learn the guitar’, or ‘get a girlfriend’ or ‘become president of the united states of america’



a weird/not weird app


Sure I heard about this on the radio but could never find it: an app that will let me find someone locally who will let me use their tumble dryer in exchange for money




if someone could make a decent app for cataloguing receipts, it would actually be pretty handy.
like for important business people in the world of business doing expenses. it’s a ballache trying to hold on to loads of bits of paper.


It’s called “Camera”


here’s an idea: shut app


What does it do?


just has one button that when you press it bricks your phone forever


Risk Calculator (possibly sponsored by aviva)
Lets you know the risk of failure of any and all day to day living choices. If you’re asking for something obscure it may ask you to take a quick photo so our Risk Assessment Elves can give you a quick bespoke answer, this function available to Premium Users only.


‘Teacups’ is still going strong for me!


You mean Concur.


apparently, yes