Apple rankings

Definitive

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Jazz
Kanzi
Pink lady

No other apples exist

No Cox! Do they not have those in the states?

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I have a strange little interest in regional apple varieties so that intrigues me

[From hitting up the good ol’ Wikipedia it appears that they are a slightly finicky apple and difficult to grow in some environments, so they’re not grown much in North America. That’s sad, they’re possibly the best apple]

MacBook Pro
iPhone
Ipad

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if it’s not a pink lady i’m not interested

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I really like granny smith apples I’m afraid; ranking them ‘not worth eating’ has taken me aback a bit

Anyone in the know about different apple varieties care to recommend a better sour/genuinely crunchy apple?

Edit: wow I’ve just clicked on the listings and there’s all the information I could possibly need!

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‘Coffee grounds in a leather glove’ is extremely accurate.

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Currently eating:

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This so-called expert’s opinion:

Very definitive indeed

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been trying to find sweetangos for years after hearing him on an australian radio show. no luck yet but one day, she will be mine

No Cox’s either that I can see. I’m guessing it’s something about the apples available in America.

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What a way to find out who has me (Cox)-blocked!

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Sorry, my eye was drawn by big flashy pictures and then I researched what the fuck a Cheerful Gold was - turns out it’s a cross between a Cox and a Golden Delicious!

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been getting quite into the little Rockit apples from M&S recently, dismayed to see them rated very average on here

Well that sounds like a nice apple! Also, funny that you had literally the exact same thought as me, and ended up on Wikipedia too. Great minds and all

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the Granny Smith’s densely packed flesh and insurmountable skin create a most unpleasant eating experience.

Here are the straight facts: the Granny Smith’s tough flesh and skin will quite literally make your gums bleed

I think the problem is with the ranking guy here, frankly. His teeth and gums aren’t up to the task, and he blames the apple

Came across someone linking to this even more comprehensive (although less entertainingly polemical) apple review site.

Might have to become an apple connoisseur