I’m constantly worrying and it’s getting worse with time. I think the two biggest factors as to why are having met my wife (always afraid something bad is going to happen to her) and Trump getting elected (I can’t imagine things ever getting better - it feels like we’re far past the point of no return in every sense and that we’re headed towards a climate change induced apocalyptic nightmare). I don’t understand people who aren’t worried about Trump and Republicans, they feel of a different species I can’t relate to.
Having left my job to start a very, very, very small one-person business has produced a lot of worry - not because of the drastic reduction in income but because all of my income is now self-reported as opposed to being on a W-2, so I constantly feel as if I’m going to be audited or challenged with regards to taxes or health care. I’m hoping this is irrational.
Money is a major worry for me in general - I deprive myself of everything and try to cling to every cent I can because a) I equate it to time trapped at my old job and b) I don’t ever, ever, ever want to have to go back to my old job or any job in an office or back to school. Spending anything other than the absolute bare minimum on myself sends me down a money guilt / worry spiral. I always feel like a major money loss event is around the corner - every time I check the mail I’m afraid there’s going to be some kind of notice there.
There’s basically worry in every aspect of my life, but what’s strange is that when I had a “career” I never worried about it at all - I quietly did my work but never cared about promotions or raises or success of projects or office politics or anything. From my first day I knew it was all BS and nothing to get wound up about and never got stressed about it (aside from the idea of being trapped there forever).
