Are you prepared to eat one of these?




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You’re supposed to use a ballpoint pen to do it and it feels fantastic. Great tactile experience…


Current work lunch plan:

Two slices brown bread and a banana.

At tea break, snap banana in half, wrap half in one slice of bread and eat like a banana hotdog.

Same with other half at lunch.

Makes me feel like a bear, even though I don’t imagine bears eat banana. Or bread. Yogi probably did.

I am also reminded of a banana anecdote

Actually I’m reminded of 2 anecdotes, the other is my own and probably not very interesting. And I will type it out at lunchtime


Duly noted, and will investigate, but still don’t think it’d make much difference regarding visibility. And I hate drawing.

But thank you Mrs Heritage and I promise not to diss your son too much in the future :wink:

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I don’t know who Stewart Heritage is but I’m sure he’s a jerk.

He’s a Guardian features writer who specialises in the light-hearted stuff. I suspect he’s not popular around these parts, but I kind of like his stuff usually, although at some point presumably he’ll become a parent and morph into one of those people who write columns like “My son has the best baby arms” for the rest of their careers.

Too late - he’s been that guy for about eight years (I think one of his kids is a year older than ours)

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I just googled him and…

“His weekly column about his young son ‘Man With a Pram’ ran in the paper’s Family section between 2015-16”

I’m afraid anybody building a media empire around “I talk about parenting but…I’m a DAD?!” goes immediately into the confirmed-jerk category for me.


But you should still write on banana with a ballpoint pen IMO.

I prefer to write things, such as ‘BANANA’ or ‘WANKER’.

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Well say what you like about the Grauniad, but you’ve got to hand it to them for having a special Family section to squirrel this shit away in, that for those of us like me are simply convenient compost bin liners.

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Do you think that if you wrote in green felt tip on a very green banana then it would gradually reveal itself as the banana ripened?


Idk. A bf of mine ate like 8 or 10 bananas one morning and was sent home from work. Think he had to go to hospital and they said it was potassium poisoning.

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I think I’d like to see you try, and report back.

Can you imagine?

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But for a healthy person, “it would be impossible to overdose on bananas,” says Collins. “You would probably need around 400 bananas a day to build up the kind of potassium levels that would cause your heart to stop beating… Bananas are not dangerous - and in fact they are, and always have been, very good for you.”

Adults should consume about 3,500mg of potassium per day, according to the UK’s National Health Service. The average banana, weighing 125g, contains 450mg of potassium, meaning a healthy person can consume at least seven-and-half bananas before reaching the recommended level.

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Now I’m trying to find a way to crowbar the phrase “eat 400 bananas” into the lyrics of Eternal Flame.

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling
Eat 400 bananas
Do you understand?
Do you feel the same?
Am I only dreaming?
Is this burning an eternal flame?