Oh ho Ho Ho Ho Ho

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Magnificent reverse jinxing

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Smith caught stokes bowled @The_Excession

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Never believed in the power of antibants before, but it’s undeniably powerful.

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Have there been any other aus innings this series where Smith has batted and hasn’t top scored?

One of the Headingley ones. I can’t remember which.

Wow that stat on TMS is incredible.

Combined aussie openers this series faced 8 balls of spin, for 0 runs and 3 wickets.

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Cricketers seem to have a massive blindspot regarding the ball pitching outside leg on lbw decisions. They get sucked into reviewing them so often.

ā€œCan we check ultraedge?ā€

Why? It clearly pitched way outside leg

Don’t want to worry anyone here but aus are about 200-5 if things carry on at this rate they’ll be 400 all out and they’ll win.

Paine’s series ends with a failed review

I guess that why they call him Timdow Paine

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I don’t actually get this but I am ever the supportive wife.

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Well, you see, that Australian test match cricket captain is called Tim Paine, and shortly prior to my posting that statement, he was given out in the 5th test match of the current ashes series. So, utilising a wonderful piece of word play by popular dickhead Eminem, i played very artistically with Tim Paine’s name, to the enjoyment of all of DiS.

ā€˜Given out?’ Wtf is thay

Well, you see, when playing cricket, the aim as a batter is to score runs while not hitting thw ball straight to a fielder without it bouncing, or allowing the ball to hit your stumps. If you fail to do so, you are classified as out and that’s bad, as you have to go and socialise with your team mate’s in the pavilion. This is particularly bad if you’re Tim Paine, as one of your team mates is Steve Smith and i can only imagine he’s insufferable. There’s a tea towel in the kitchen with more information, should this have piqued your interest in the slightest, whoch i know it hasn’t as i can see your face from here and it is distinctly unpiqued.

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Not gonna read this.

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ā€˜given out’ is a variant on ā€˜asked out’. A test match lasts a long time and if a member of the fielding team is feeling so inclined he or she can ā€˜give out’ a member of the opposition to help alleviate loneliness on the field of play

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Such a romantic sport.

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Oooh, Cummins is goin’ is he?

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